after 2 months of hard training, the big day is finally here!
POS NIGHT, 31ST MAY 2007 :D
i wont say the trainings were easy and enjoyable.
there ARE times when i felt like backing out, times when i felt pissed off at my fellow dancers.
but, PRAISE GOD, He as taken me through the trials and i emerge as a brand new person.
POS has been a great event for me and i really learnt loads of stuff.
not necessary dance, but also leadership as a dance and cheer I.C. and the ability to be patient and slow to anger. & yes, indeed it has been a blessing to know
tingting, jo-ann, angeline, shihui, yiqin, maria, huahui, xueli, mag, joycelyn, eunice, joey, yuan leng, jolina, shi hong, felicia, bernard, terry, kah keong, wille, wei xiong, zack, weiming, liang wei, kenneth, jason, yu xian, daryl, jie xiang, and the rest.
the months has been tough, but TOMORROW'S OUR BIG DAY! do your best alrights :D

even though the trainings has drained us and tire us out physically, WE'RE STRONG SPIRITUALLY! go guys (:
pictures for west cluster will only be out once MARIA decides to send them to me x)
dont worry, yea. its coming soon :D after EMERGE 2007!

ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLRRRRIGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSS!

CONGRATS TO

azurah & me ADVERTISING for MILO :D the healthier choice :D

kenny, me and azurah :D kenny's is a boy guide! hahah i should have worn my girl guides half-u :D oh, i should mention, azurah's a guide too :D yay

Hold me Jesus
'cos im shaking like a leaf
You've been King of my glory
wont You be my Prince of Peace

i cried in the lrt on the way home.
and up to now, im still crying as im typing this post.
in the background, GREATER IS HE - CCC OXFORD FALLS playing.

i was in school today when my sister called me and started screaming. just then, i was talking to my teacher about the upcoming competition. my sister demanded to know why i had worn her skechers shoes & spoilt the sole of the shoe. i was shocked. she kept screaming into the receiver, and my teacher was "kezia! can you pay attention?" i hung up the call but my sister just kept calling & calling. i couldnt get a chance to answer to call.
then, i got a text message from her.
it was hurting. it was a really really hurting message.
i really felt like crying there, right infront of my classmates and teacher.
"i hate you! you wore my shoes to your emerge competition and didnt ask for my permission. you dirtied it! you liar and cheat! you shouldnt have won that silver medal at all! i hate you! you liar! still dont want to admit! now i got no shoes to wear for my napfa!"
i didnt wear her shoes at all. in fact, i wore my brown shoes and even borrowed my friend's shoes for my track events. JOLINA KNOWS. she was the girl i borrowed the shoes from. i cannot believe my sister could say something like this. she's suppose to be the sister. she's suppose to take care of me.
"you still dont want to admit?! i hate you! im going to lock the door and not let you in! i make sure you cannot come in! serve you right! you are going to pay for what you did to me! you torment me! and im going to take your Nike shoes because you took mine!"
at this time, i was in the lrt. i started tearing up. how could she take the Nike shoes my mom bought for me just 2 days ago? i scared of what she will do to it. i really really scared. its my mom's hard earned money and if she spoils it in any way, i dunno what i will do. seriously. i was hurt that she didnt believe me, i was hurt that she could say this to me.
i reached home to find the door locked. i slotted my key in and turning. it wouldnt budge. this time i really cried, with huge sniffling sobs.
"why did you really lock me out?"
"i already said what i want to say. i already told you. you ask yourself, why do you like to torment me all the time? im already feeling extremely griefed. yesterday instead of waiting for me, you made a din. you're not even helpful as a sister. and just to let you know, i DID TAKE YOUR SHOES! im not going to fail because of you! so you're paying for it."
i just kept crying and crying and crying outside my door.
the incident yesterday was the time i lost faith on my sister.
i was at expo. my cell group is going to be at my house today for cg and i will not be home. my cg will still be using my house. dorigo came down to expo. i was suppose to pass him the duplicates of the keys to my house. i realised i brought the wrong keys, so i passed him mine. practice ended, and i asked tingting if i could go her house till my sister came back home cos i have no keys. she said yes. i called my sister. she didnt want me to go tingting's house, she asked me to go oschool instead and wait for her till she finished dance. i said okay. i reached oschool half an hour later and walked in. i felt strange and alone in oschool. i waited 15 minutes before my sister came out for a break. she asked me to wait until she finished (which would be 50 mins later) i told her i didnt want to and i wanted to go my fren's house. she got agitated.
"what do you want now! cant you even wait, it'll only take a short time. then you just do whatever you want la! i dont care! you go home lor!"
and then she walked off. i started to cry because i felt alone, and the only person that was suppose to take care of me just walked away. i stood up and left oschool. i cried all the way as i walked back to city hall mrt. she disappointed me.
i tried to open the door again. i turned the lock numerous times. still wouldnt open. i started praying to God, half-crying.
God, you said you will never leave me nor forsake me. i want to believe. i want to have faith in you that you will help me. i know you will be here with me no matter what happens. no longer will i doubt you , oh Lord.
i pulled hard at the door and turned the lock. it clicked, and i immediately started turning and FINALLY opened the door. i never felt so relieved in my entire life. i was crying when i said that prayer and as i turned to lock.
Thank you, Lord! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
i was jumping and crying and shouting thank you. i was so, so, so relieved.
i just remembered what dad said to me before he went off.
"kezia, if you have any problems, just pray to God."
thanks dad (:

i cannot believe that my sister would do this to me.
im really disappointed in her. i thought she would be a great person that could take care of me.
i guess im wrong.

My Refuge
My Shelter
My Healer
and Rest
Almighty Redeemer
Salvation
and Strenght...

me & shi hui! cheer ICs unite! :D

jolina & me. dance ICs unite! :D

jo-ann, yi qin & me :D dancer-flier-dancer (:

shi hui & willie (is that how you spell his name? xD) willie just got whacked in the ear by angeline's leg cos of a bad basket toss xD

bernard! if the toy car breaks, I WILL LAUGH! :D

kah keong & weiming. the man & the woman :D

i totally love west cluster :D yesterday's practice was a good one too :D very fruitful. we improved ALOT! watch out for WEST! during POS night :DDDDDDDDD yay, POS training later at expo. CANT WAIT :D

got 20th position for cross country. :D

no lah, just that there wasnt any girl that qualified for the 20th position so there was an extra trophy & i took it :D so i got "20th position" :D heheehheheeh

its mr desmond last day in ZSS, so bye mr desmond! :D be a good teacher in Hwa Chong & come visit us during ur NS (so that we can see ur bald head :D). dont forget us :D yay

addicted to what hurt the most - rascal flatts :D

Cant you just look at my perspective instead of screaming at me every few seconds?
big sister, im sorry to say: there are many things i could have shot back at you as you yelled at me this morning. but i choose not to. the choice for me to go overseas, its not for you to decide. please, i beg of you, do not take your anger out on me.
mom, i have to say: i know you are feeling depressed and down. yes, i will try to understand wht you are going through. i will try and understand how you are feeling. all i can ask is, please leave me alone for this few days. i have no idea on how to react to these news. i do not know if i should cry, or if i should be calm. i wanna remind you again, im just 15 years old.

i feel messed up inside. i dont know why, but i'll just cry in the wierdest times. i dont want to start thinking that i have no purpose in my life, that i should throw away the passion i have for POS, for school, for my competitiond, for everything. i dont wanna think that way.

i decided to not go to school today.

i really feel messed up inside. at this rate, i dont know if i can carry through.


When the music fades
All is stripped away...

okay.
i'm WAS suppose to go to philippines THIS THURS (to tuesday) , due to the fact that my grandmother just passed on.
call me insensitive, call me cruel, call me detestable. BUT I SIMPLY CANT GO. why not? take a look at my schedule :

thursday :
school 8am-330pm
POS training 2pm-10pm
(slot in at DUNNO WHAT TIME) making of passport
friday :
school 8am-1230pm
-collection of report book
medical checkup 1pm-3pm
POS 3rd preview 7pm-10pm
i dont even wanna type my schdule for the weekend. its hectic.

agh. i dunno okay. i cant believe in a short span of 3 hours, everything went chaotic. but the thing that pissed me off the most was my mom crying over the phone saying, "but im going back on tuesday, why did she had to leave??" again, call me insensitive, call me cruel, call me detestable, BUT I COULDNT TAKE IT. if my grandmother's gone, shes gone! she has accepted Christ & right now she's in Heaven! why make such a big deal out of it? why not just think of it in a different perspective? sometimes i dun get it. yeah, i might not be sympatatic, or to show empathy but its no use crying over split milk right? its God's will, not our will. we can choose, yes. but isnt it better just to look at it in a more positive way?

sigh. or am i just plain wierd?
i'm tired. and i have been crying lately without a reason. its just something inside me that yearns to cry out more. and even more. i miss the people from easter drama. when i'm with them, i could grow more. i'll have that sense of wanting to be more with God. heh, it reminds me of ... those drama people who has really high spiritual maturity. funny, during the easter drama, i always felt that i had to go higher and reach out more in order to catch up with people like samuel, victor, jennifer, alan, derrek...
yet somehow, i have something holding me back. im really confused and tired.

&here's the tears again. i dont know what to do, seriously.
everythings churning inside me. mixed emotions.
i just talked to samuel online, and at that time, i just felt so relieved. i dont know why.
i started crying as i typed on the keyboard.
i just felt that i was completely blank, i didnt have an answer, i didnt know what to do.
then samuel said, "then theres only really one thing to do for the time being..pray."
& i thought, "yea, thats the only thing to do now. God has all the answers. does he want me to come back to him? to come back to my first love?"

I want to grow more, Lord.

I CANNOT MOVE.
every part of my body is aching due to excessive pos trainings and the track heats for emerge. my leg hurts, my stomach hurts, my arms hurt. i cant even move around properly la. gahhhhhhhh so tiredddd.
heh but i should be happy! i got 2nd for the 4x100m relay (: yay i got a nice silver medal too (:

i wanna go for TBG masterclass with jolina! xD its $50 so im trying to pscho my sister & mom to pay for me. so far, its not working ): ahahahahs maybe i can scrimp on my allowance next week and hopefully get my $50 in two weeks time before TBG class start. ALRIGHTEYS! yay dance&drama is my passion!

pos 2nd preview later at 330 (: FULL DRESS REHEARSAL! im so excited to shine :DD

i feel bad yelling at my mom. yeah, it was in a moment of rashness and stupidity and i should have considered her feelings before rattling off my own. being irritated at her was something i didnt want to do.
im a horrible daughter, arent i?

i feel really, really bad. & my sister's having another of her wierd mood swings. she was crying when she came home yesterday.

i'm tired. im really tired. POS hasnt been going well for me & im havent attending most of the practices due to my school commitments. even when some west cluster poeple go out together, i find that most of the time im not with them because of cca, council meetings, class, and workshops. i can feel that im slowly slipping away from them, and i dont like it one bit. im trying and trying and trying. i dont even have time to go out and have fun with my friends when pos trainings started. after school, i go straight home to bathe and im out of the house half an hour later for training, returning only at 1130 at night. i dont have time for my studies, i dont have time for my family, i dont have time for my friends. sometimes i think, am i decieving myself by saying "i shouldnt be here." ? if i cant even get hold of myself and stay positive, how am i gonna change the people around me? i dont even feel like a dance I.C. there. i'll always feel theres someone there to snatch that place away from me. or maybe im just being paranoid x) im always smiling in pos, cos i believe that a leader should never break down, if not she'll lose the respect people has for her. training is hard, but im not complaining. i just see the attitudes of my fellow westcluster-ians and think to myself, "this is not the way to act." one of them even told me how to do one of the dance steps properly; but in an extremely harsh way. she might not know how she may have sounded, but to me i was hurt. but then again, who am i to judge them? all i did was to suppress my feelings. jo-ann could see i was trying (: thanks jo-ann (:
im tired physically, im tried emotionally, im tired spiritually. but i decided. ITS TIME TO BE LIFTED UP! :D
no more moping around, no more feeling sorry for myself, no more getting myself pushed around, no more entertaining their childish whims. if they dont like me the way i am, im sorry then. i dont need friends like you guys to pull me away from God. im GONNA BE A LEADER poeple would look up and have the respect for me, and most of all, to regain the fire of God back into my life.

i'm sorry for complaining xD i just had to let everything out without yelling my lungs out (:

i HAVE to SCREAM this!
KEZIA GOT A C5 FOR HER EMATHS!
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
thanks mr desmond :D


i am officially taking MAY 7TH post out, due to the fact that my blog may be smarming with students from 3e4 trying to find that particular post that i've written about my emaths teacher. THANKS ALOT AR, MR DESMOND. you told the class about it right? OMG, they came up to me & told me the whole story okayyyyy! ahahah but really thanks anyways :D IM A LIVING TESTIMONIAL ON HOW DETERMINATION CAN ACHIEVE WHAT YOU WANT ! i guess i should be happy :D

at least more people will know me, & i'll be famous in zhenghua before i graduate :D although i think my INTELLIGENCE & BEAUTY & EXTREMELY NICE PERSONALITY has already enabled me to have loads of friends :D ahahahah. dun live in denial k. admit i AM that good xD

pictures i've taken during pos training yesterday! xD

i HAVE to scream this!
kezia passed her emaths paper 1 ! :DDDDDDDDDDDD
THANKS MR DESMOND!

kezia has a big, ugly bruise on her toe.
yes, i banged my toe on the wall (by accident) and my nail was chipped off, in addition, a huge bruise. walking is difficult alrights. every step i take is like jolts of pain shooting up my foot. to top it all off, MY TRACK EVENTS ARE THIS SAT D: and POS second preview is on sunday. how am i gonna run and dance in this state? D: im praying for a miracle, yea.
today's pos training was terrible for me, my bruised toe was giving me so much problems. didnt tell xueli though, i didnt want her to worry (:

i just wrote my holistic report to my form teacher. i hope she likes it okay. i spent an hour on it ): im gonna post what i wrote, just incase you guys are interested on what i wrote ((:

Kezia's Holistic Report:

Kezia has been very active in the Girl Guides and is currently holding the rank of a Patrol Leader. She has helped to win the 2 Gold Puan Noor Aishah Award this year. Being in the Girl Guides, it has taught Kezia to lead a well-disciplined life. She had also participated in many events, like the annual Camp Christine camp and the school's annual Open House event. She has been given many opportunities in her CCA as well as a student councilor to show her leadership potential. Currently, she is assigned to plan the Secondary One Girl Guides camp this coming June. For the past two years, she has been actively involved in the planning of many school events like the Student Council Investiture and Secondary One Orientation Camp. She had been to public speaking workshops and training camps which polishes her leadership skills. Kezia has an outspoken personality which makes her a very easy-going person. She is ever-ready to accept new challenges. She has no problem getting along with others and can relate to them rather well. She should keep up with the positive fighting spirit in life and this would definitely help her get far in life.


its good isnt it? i was surprised to even hear that im THAT great :D
my MYE results are OUT! i wont post it just as yet until i get my report book back (: lets just say i was kinda disppointed and elated with my results xD

till next time! kezia's off to nurse her toe ):

stayed over at joey's house ytd cos it was her 15th birthday! ate LOADS of bbq food (gotta lose that flab) and had stomachache after that. guess the food wasnt cooked well xD i love joey's balcony! you could climb out of the window and into the balcony at night to see the stars! its really nice(: me, sarah, naddz, asidah & erica kinda thrashed her room though. HAHAHAHAH we even managed to taupok sarah! yay (: erica has the photos and i will upload them soon :D left joey's house at 9am today with sarah cos we had church service (: i walked into the train and flopped down on the mrt seat feeling REALLLLYYYY TIRED (due to the fact i slept for only 2hours (i slept at 6am)). msged my cgl telling her i was on the way when i recieved a msg from SAMUEL o.O
look up.
i looked up and i saw samuel staring at me! aahahahs and i didnt even notice he was in the same train as i was. see lah, thats how blur and sleepy kezia is in the morning :D im gonna sleep early tonight yeah! hahaha gd thing school starts later than usual on monday mornings. anyways, met wesley when i was walking to foyr 3 with samuel. I ADMIT. I TRIED REEEEALLYYY HARD not to retaliate and was repeating "self-control, self-control" over and over in my mind. seeing wesley ticks me off, serious. hehas that kind of qian da face you noe? gahhhh.
JOELYNN CAME TO SVC TODAY! yay, im glad shes finally sliding back to God (: & shes coming back NEXT WEEK too! im glad i prayed for her (:

to SHARLYN LEE: you still owe me my eugene teddy bear okay xD im waiting for it!
my eugene bear is a stuffed teddy bear that SOMEONE owes me since a veryyy long time ago. i just rmbed only! eugene bear is approx. 40cm tall and its a cute teddy that is brown in colour (: its called "eugene bear" because the original bear's name was "thaddious" and i didnt like it so i changed the name to "eugene bear!" yup (: im retarded sometimes :D

alrighty, kezia's tired and she wants to sleep.

i just did "what gender is your brain?" test and guess what my results are! :

You have the brain of a girly girl
Which isn't a bad thing at all
You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions.
You're a good friend and give great advice.

hahahah the brain of a girly girl? yup, i totally agree. but "girly-girl" sounds wrong .. ?
haahah just my opinion though. YUKONA! click here to do the quiz :D

i did another! "would you be a cool parent?" quiz. IT LOOKS INTERESTING THATS WHY I DID IT OKAY :D

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need.
You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law.
While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top.
You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant! click here to do the test :D

and another one! "are you a good student?" test XD

You aren't afraid to crack the books when you need to, and you make your education a true priority.
You could become a PhD in anything, if you set your mind to it. There's no limit to what you can learn! click here to do the test! :D
YES! a PhD! just what i need to be a gastrologist (:

okay, i'll quit posting abt my tests XD im hooked to it already! ahhh.

watched spiderman 3 just now @ plaza sing AND I CRIED OKAY. when harry sacrificed himself for peter parker. and then when they were talking with MJ at the last part. okay, wont say anymore cos i'll be spoiling it for those who hasnt got a chance to watch it yet. but AHHH SO NICE K. i dont care if people thought the movie wasnt good, IT WAS. im prepared to watch it again :D a must-watch (:
VENOM WAS SO COOL :D ESP. THE WAY HE ROAAAAAAARRRRRRRed. he was "RAWWWWWWRRRRRRRR!" and you could see the teeth :D and when he grabbed peter parker, i screamed okay. (according to sarah, i didnt realised that i screamed cos i was too engrossed in the movie) BUT IT WASNT THAT LOUD! i went "EEEEKKK" XD

i decided! im gonna watch fantastic four: rise of the silver surfer, pirates of the carribean: at world's end, surf's up, and any nice movies thats coming up. IM FINALLY FREE! NO MORE EXAMS :D
ps. im my opinion, 200 pounds beauty is NOT NICE.

ciao people :D

WHAT ON EARTH! THE FIRST LINE IS TOTALLY NOT TRUE! D:
"what do i really think of my friends?" test.

Samuel is your soulmate.
You truly love Gabriel (my Brother).
You consider Wilson your true friend.
You know that Joey is always thinking of you.
You'll remember Sarah for the rest of your life.
You secretly think Theresa is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.
You secretly think that Geraldine is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.
You secretly think that Isaac is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Isaac changes lovers faster than underwear.
You secretly think Erica is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Erica has a hidden internet romance.
click her for the wacky test o.O

FIRST LINE CANNOT BE TRUE PLEASE. we are total opposites :D i think.

WHEW. finally my midyear exams are over :D

had my last two papers today : amaths and history.
ALL I CAN SAY IS: WHY WHY WHY did i choose amaths in the first place?
oh wait. i rmb now. in order to get into triple science, you have to take amaths.
gahhhh. i wanted the science only ): guess you cant have everything in the world. amaths was terrible. 12 questions in total, and 6 of them were abt LOGARITHMS AND SURDS D: that is it! after my long weekend, im gonna ask mdm tan to drill that topic into my head! man, im sick and tired of not knowing the subject ):
history was alright. i think my SBQ was quite good (thanks to mr aljunied! :D) SEQ.. lets just wait till the results are out (:

BUT WHATEVER ! its over & spiderman 3, here i come! sarah, me and joey 2pm tmrw @plaza sing! hah, i suddenly got a craving to eat nachos :D hmm now that i think of it, i get cravings in the WIERDEST HOURS.

a must see kdrama : goong-s. its on youtube. I RECOMMEND (: make sure you have tissues beside you xD

didnt get a chance to post about my exam ytd, so i'll do it now (:

had amaths paper 2 and chemistry yesterday.
amaths was terrible. VICTOR! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU? XD
i messed up on logarithms and surds. panicked, and forgot about co-ordinate geometry. AHHHH, it was bad. i think i can only scrape a pass on paper 2. gonna buck up on paper 1 tmrw and pull my amaths marks up! man, i struggled for TWO HOURS in that stiffling and stuffy classroom of mine. how i wish my classroom wasnt the "isolated" one :D
chemistry was great! :D i have 100% confidence of getting my A2. surprisingly, i KNEW HOW TO DO THE MOLE QUESTIONS ! YES YES YES :D thank you GOD ! im really glad that you were with me when i did my paper (: i was feeling a little down cos of my amaths paper, but before i started on my chem paper, i prayed and asked God to take the burden away so that i can concentrate on my chem paper, AND HE DID! yay praise the Lord (:

had physics paper today and it went okay, i guess.
i remembered the principle of moment ! ahahah i had a feeling it would come out in the paper and yeah, it did ! whew. and yeah, i remembered all my formulas for work done, moment, force, and acceleration. kinda screwed up on my structured essay questions though ): i couldnt remember the formula for power! gah. workdone x watt = power. how could i have forgotten it?? ):
oh well, now that its over, i can only have faith that i will get my b4 for physics right? (: hahah

2MORE PAPERS ! YES! history and amaths paper 1, here i come! :D
and after that, its spiderman 3 with sarah at plaza sing on thurs and SHOPPPPINGGGGG ! alrights :D

of all the teachers i ever had, mr desmond was the best :)

i think he really gave it his all during the time he took over our class for emaths when mdm lee went off for maternity leave. initially, i thought he was the kind of teacher that will make me slack off and not concentrate on my weakest subject, mathematics. i was surprised though. first lesson he came in, it was pretty good. i understood most of the stuff he taught. but shrugging it off, i thought maybe the topic was just too easy. subsequently, after attending the next few lessons, i thought, "hey, this guy is pretty good XD" he became one of my most fave teachers in zss. so anyways, i went to his blog one day and saw that he was haveing problems with teaching and contemplating if he should return the teaching. so i wrote this to him (in his blog) : DESMOND! you MUST teach us again! your classes are really fun (: and i can tell my class loves you, even if they dont show it :D JIAYOU okay ? (: -kezia:D
guess what he said ! XD
Kezia, I know you are putting in effort into your Maths. I can see that the whole class puts in all they can into their learning.Mdm Lee is back, so I have to hand over the class to her. It belongs to her in the first place. =) I am glad that you enjoy BECAUSE... I enjoy being with your class too! For now I know, I can make your class lively. Because sometimes when I walked past your class (with other subject teachers in there), some of you were dozing off. Even if I am not teaching you Maths, you must keep on going okay? NEVER SAY DIE!
ahahahhah how nice. at least ONE teacher notices im putting in extra effort to not get an E8 this year for maths :D and he wrote really nice stuff about our class too (:
3E1 Always complain that I allocate alot of homework for them, but they always finish up on time. They might seem as though they are not attentive, but they are able to produce result still.
how nice (:

BYE, MR DESMOND! 3E1 WILL MISS YOU :D

yesterday was kind of a good and bad day for me. well, kind of.
firstly, i arrived at foyer 3 for bible study. met dorigo and he told me bible study was cancelled cos JO was in taiwan. i tolda him that no one had informed me. he said, "well, that girl didnt have your number." i shrugged it off and asked if any of my cg members were here already. he said no. i told him i was gonna get some food from seven eleven (cos i didnt want to be with his cg XD i didnt noe any of them.) while i was at the zebra-crossing, i suddenly felt really tired and had a HUGE craving for chocolate. so i made my way to the coffee bean at hall 1. as i was walking through the empty halls, i thought of studying at coffee bean (since i was heading there anyway). i was ordering my chocolate iceblended with whipped cream when daryl called. he asked where i was and if i could come over to foyer 3. my heart literally sank okay. FOYER 3 TO HALL ONE AND BACK TO FOYER 3 o.O i thought, okay i should go since im going back to hall 8 later. arrived at foyer 3 to see daryl with LINDA. i didnt wanna play gooseberry XD so i went to line up at hall 8 first. alone. i am so not used to be alone okay :(
secondly, aafter like half an hour or so, daryl went back home cos he was sick. that leaves me to book seats for my cg members. im fine with it, just that i started wishing that my cg members were early instead of strolling into hall 8 after 445pm. so i called linda, and asked her if she wanted to sit with my cg (cos only 3 of her members was here today). so yup 415, we were let into the hall. at 430 me and linda CHIONG up the terrences XD and got pretty good seats. i took half a row and linda took the other. i msged my entire cg when they will be arriving. they were like " um, 445.", "soon.", "at tanah merah already.." for some reason, i felt kinda pissed. i sat down on one of the chairs and sighed (really loudly, and i didnt even noticed :D) just then, one of my cg members came and asked what happened. i told her " wah, so this is how daryl feels when he has to book seats for all of us. STRESS MAN." she started laughing and i just relaxed, laughing along with her.
just as i began to feel better, there was this ANNOYING lady behind and she was asking "hi, sorry, wheres your members? because you guys are not suppose to books seats." i said really sweetly (considering what kind of crappy day i was having), "oh my members are here already. they're walking in." (and its true most of them had already reached by then (: ) the lady told me, "will you give up the seats by 5pm?" i replied, "sure." the lady, satisfied, leaned back and started chatting to her husband how the young are really ignorant these days. REALLY LOUDLY TOO. my fren gave me the what-on-earth look. i shrugged. i was telling her that its okay, we're cityharvesters! we wont fight over these small matters (: 450pm, and my cg members were still strolling in. (i have no idea why they're taking SO long) the lady leaned forward and told me, "excuse me, its 5pm already." i felt it was such a joke. i looked at the digital clock at the back of the hall, and replied, "sorry, but its not five yet." i felt like laughing, seriously. it was only 453. before the lady had a chance to shoot back at me, THANK GOD, my cg members started to arrive ( YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! ). by then, i had to give up like 4 seats. the lady saw my members here so she just gave up asking me for the seats. my fren asked me, "they have seats already then they want to take our seats for what?". i gave her the i-dunno look. then she started laughing again. I LOVE THE SOUND OF LAUGHTER ! :D it was then when i thought, man i should lighten up.

ahhhhhhhhhh. lots other things happened too before svc started. thank God i had self-control. i felt like blowing up when i heard the lady complaining again.
svc ended and i went to have dinner with my cg members. i was walking beside magdalene and telling her how the easter drama was GREAT :D and i met lots of people there. and i dont know why, wesley HAD to come in and start saying, "oh yeah, you were so great in the easter drama. HOLDING A BASKET." it was said in a sarcastic tone too. this wasnt the first time he said it, and it wasnt the first time i got mad over it. he started saying lots other horrible stuff too. mag saw the look on my face so she gave wesley the shut-up look. wesley, being the clueless guy he is, went on saying what he felt. and it wasnt exactly good stuff coming out.
i was hurt. really hurt. i tried hard to get into the drama production and one of my cg members just put me down with a few words. it was like adding the icing on top my really crappy day, you know? i bit my lip and didnt say anything back to wesley. i was already crying and wishing wesley will disappear. after dinner, my cg leader was asking me what was wrong and i just started crying. it was really hurting alot. but something my cgl said made me realise that it doesnt matter what other people thought. she said "YOU ARE THE BEST DRAMATIST IN OUR CG. NEVER LET WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK AFFECT YOUR LIFE WITH GOD. NEVER LET NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ENTER YOUR MIND. WHEN YOU DO, YOU'LL START TO FEEL YOU'RE WORTHLESS. WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK? IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT GOD THINKS. AND GOD IS HAPPY WHEN YOU SERVE HIM. AND I CAN TRUELY SEE THAT YOU ARE ON FIRE FOR DRAMA AND FOR THIS CELL GROUP. "
instantly, i remembered what pst kong said in the saturday service.
God looks at the inside, not the outside. for the Kingdom of God is a Kingdom of attitude.

I was so tired of asking "God, help me. help me." that i decided to go beyond! to ask Jesus "what can i do for you?" instead of always asking for help.
yesterday's svc really lifted me up and spurred me to rise up to an even greater level of spiritual maturity (:

look at mansi's hand ! it has never been as nice as this before ! whoo, beautiful :D 2 thumbs up. its the results of the "say stop when you want me to stop" game :) WOW.
(by the way, it was made by me and my purple marker. aint it nice ? :DD im a true artist.)


biology paper today was easy.
a bit too easy, if you ask me. & if its too easy, it can only mean one thing : careless mistakes.
ARGH. no, no, no. i will get my A1 for biology ! :D
i only screwed up on one question: state how the structure of the xylem vessel adapt to its function.
i was ... crap. i didnt read up on this. ):
the model answer :
xylem vessels are long hollow tubes formed out of xylem cells laid end to end. they conduct water and mineral salts from the roots up to the stem and leaves. xylem vessels do not have cross-walls or protoplasm. this enables water to move easily thru the lumen. a substance called lignin is deposited on the walls of xylem vessels. lignin strenghtens the walls and prevents the vessels from collapsing. when bundled together, the xylem vessels provide mechanical support to the plant.

i wished i had memorised this. at least i got the adaptation of the red blood cell and root hair cell correct tho :) although i wrote "the red blood cell has a depression" instead of "a bioconcave shape". dunno if i'll get penalized for it. AT LEAST I DONT TAKE POA! yes, i saw the others taking poa and they were stressed out.
oh man, i feel so mean laughing at them like this :D

ahahah something funny just happened! someone was knocking at my house door just now, so i opened it. there's this health guy, he wanted to come in and check my toilet for mosquitos. i was " um, gimme a minute." and i went to take my keys. then i started to get suspicious. OMGGGG WHAT IF THIS GUY COME IN AND DO SOMETHING FUNNY TO ME? i started to panic den i started to say in my heart "God help me to fight this guy if he tries anything funny." so i went to open the door. before i opened the door the guy was like "is ur parents at home?" i said, "um no, but can u come back tmrw instead and check?" AHAHHAHA that guy was " okay, okay, wait something happen then i get accused of molest." (broken english, yes i noe, but thats the way he said it XD)
HEE HEE HEEEEEE. i was like THANK GOD! :D

i think jennifer would like my new blog song (: i dont love you by my chemical romance.
it sounds kinda emo to me tho. :)

this is totally random, but i cried when i was watching goong-s ): its so .. touching.

PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME THAT YOUTUBE HAS FAILED ME.

argh i cant find my goong-s videos! 4hours ago i could, now all it shows is the "ERROR" word there. oh yeah, like the word will help me.

gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
bright side is, i got loads of se7en's songs from aidil ! yay thanks aidil (: you saved me from tearing my computer apart when i couldnt find those videos :D

GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
emaths paper 1 & social studies paper was TERRIBLE.
i knew how to do EVERY SINGLE QUESTION in the SS paper, the only problem was that I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH TIME. c'mon, 1 HOUR to complete 3 source-based questions, and a structured essay question? no can do. good for me, i started on the structured essay question first :D and finished it in half an hour. i wrote 1 and a half pages okay! and it was RELEVANT :D i can score the full 12 marks i think. anyways, when i looked at the clock after writing the conclusion for my essay, I WAS SHOCKED. 20 minutes left only for my SBQ -.- i kinda panicked and started scribbling my answers down while muttering under my breath "Please God, please God lenghten my time, stretch the time so that i can finish up my paper." i wrote and wrote and wrote until my teacher said that famous line "put your pens down". then i looked up. my classmates were still scribbling! i looked down at my paper and realised i hadnt finished cross-referencing the sources so i started to write again. i only stopped after she (my teacher) yelled for us to put our pens down. i handed up my paper, with that question half done ):
emaths paper 1, gahhh. dont wanna even talk abt it. 3/4 of the paper is about what i learnt in sec 1 & 2 (which i completely forgottened). i wasnt even paying attention when i was sec 2. o.O i always disliked (a nicer word for hate) mathematics.

one good news though. i wont be going to school tmrw :D im in CLB, so thank God i wont have to take the normal chinese paper like the others :)))))) & YES! i found the videos for goong-s. NO MORE VEOH ! :DDDD

EMATHS PAPER TODAY WAS .... VERY ROBERT.
i think i can scrape at least 60/80. im aiming higher of course (: maybe 65/80? ahahahs :D
hmm, it was not that easy, neither it was that difficult. in between i guess? ahahahah (: bainy kinda screwed up hers. she left 2 questions blank, and that resulted in the ommision of 20MARKS. which is BAD, BAD, BAD. i thought it was upon 50 o.O until asiodah told me its upon 80. i was like "WHAT !!" well, im confident of getting a B4 this year for my MYE anyways:)

For all things work out for the good of those who love God and His purpose.

NO MORE E8s AND F9s FOR MATHEMATICS ! i declare. Thank God for giving me the opportunity to be in 3E1 (: yay

okay, im not gonna do the 100 situps today. i did 200 so far (for the past 2 days) and mow my stomach is HURTING. even when i sneeze, i can feel the muscle ache k. uggghhh. and to think that people imagine that pos dance ICs have it easy. think again ):

"if you eat marshmallows, you'll be mushy." quoted from AAROSON.
ahahhas so corny :D

CINNAMON!

I'm a superhero in disguise so shhh, don't tell my mom. Join the fight against Ben 10!

Kezia } key-zee-ear
kay, kez, keziee, key :)
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