Monday, May 07, 2007;
1:15 PM
yesterday was kind of a good and bad day for me. well, kind of.
firstly, i arrived at foyer 3 for bible study. met dorigo and he told me bible study was cancelled cos JO was in taiwan. i tolda him that no one had informed me. he said, "well, that girl didnt have your number." i shrugged it off and asked if any of my cg members were here already. he said no. i told him i was gonna get some food from seven eleven (cos i didnt want to be with his cg XD i didnt noe any of them.) while i was at the zebra-crossing, i suddenly felt really tired and had a HUGE craving for chocolate. so i made my way to the coffee bean at hall 1. as i was walking through the empty halls, i thought of studying at coffee bean (since i was heading there anyway). i was ordering my chocolate iceblended with whipped cream when daryl called. he asked where i was and if i could come over to foyer 3. my heart literally sank okay. FOYER 3 TO HALL ONE AND BACK TO FOYER 3 o.O i thought, okay i should go since im going back to hall 8 later. arrived at foyer 3 to see daryl with LINDA. i didnt wanna play gooseberry XD so i went to line up at hall 8 first. alone. i am so not used to be alone okay :(
secondly, aafter like half an hour or so, daryl went back home cos he was sick. that leaves me to book seats for my cg members. im fine with it, just that i started wishing that my cg members were early instead of strolling into hall 8 after 445pm. so i called linda, and asked her if she wanted to sit with my cg (cos only 3 of her members was here today). so yup 415, we were let into the hall. at 430 me and linda CHIONG up the terrences XD and got pretty good seats. i took half a row and linda took the other. i msged my entire cg when they will be arriving. they were like " um, 445.", "soon.", "at tanah merah already.." for some reason, i felt kinda pissed. i sat down on one of the chairs and sighed (really loudly, and i didnt even noticed :D) just then, one of my cg members came and asked what happened. i told her " wah, so this is how daryl feels when he has to book seats for all of us. STRESS MAN." she started laughing and i just relaxed, laughing along with her.
just as i began to feel better, there was this ANNOYING lady behind and she was asking "hi, sorry, wheres your members? because you guys are not suppose to books seats." i said really sweetly (considering what kind of crappy day i was having), "oh my members are here already. they're walking in." (and its true most of them had already reached by then (: ) the lady told me, "will you give up the seats by 5pm?" i replied, "sure." the lady, satisfied, leaned back and started chatting to her husband how the young are really ignorant these days. REALLY LOUDLY TOO. my fren gave me the what-on-earth look. i shrugged. i was telling her that its okay, we're cityharvesters! we wont fight over these small matters (: 450pm, and my cg members were still strolling in. (i have no idea why they're taking SO long) the lady leaned forward and told me, "excuse me, its 5pm already." i felt it was such a joke. i looked at the digital clock at the back of the hall, and replied, "sorry, but its not five yet." i felt like laughing, seriously. it was only 453. before the lady had a chance to shoot back at me, THANK GOD, my cg members started to arrive ( YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! ). by then, i had to give up like 4 seats. the lady saw my members here so she just gave up asking me for the seats. my fren asked me, "they have seats already then they want to take our seats for what?". i gave her the i-dunno look. then she started laughing again. I LOVE THE SOUND OF LAUGHTER ! :D it was then when i thought, man i should lighten up.
ahhhhhhhhhh. lots other things happened too before svc started. thank God i had self-control. i felt like blowing up when i heard the lady complaining again.
svc ended and i went to have dinner with my cg members. i was walking beside magdalene and telling her how the easter drama was GREAT :D and i met lots of people there. and i dont know why, wesley HAD to come in and start saying, "oh yeah, you were so great in the easter drama. HOLDING A BASKET." it was said in a sarcastic tone too. this wasnt the first time he said it, and it wasnt the first time i got mad over it. he started saying lots other horrible stuff too. mag saw the look on my face so she gave wesley the shut-up look. wesley, being the clueless guy he is, went on saying what he felt. and it wasnt exactly good stuff coming out.
i was hurt. really hurt. i tried hard to get into the drama production and one of my cg members just put me down with a few words. it was like adding the icing on top my really crappy day, you know? i bit my lip and didnt say anything back to wesley. i was already crying and wishing wesley will disappear. after dinner, my cg leader was asking me what was wrong and i just started crying. it was really hurting alot. but something my cgl said made me realise that it doesnt matter what other people thought. she said "
YOU ARE THE BEST DRAMATIST IN OUR CG. NEVER LET WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK AFFECT YOUR LIFE WITH GOD. NEVER LET NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ENTER YOUR MIND. WHEN YOU DO, YOU'LL START TO FEEL YOU'RE WORTHLESS. WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK? IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT GOD THINKS. AND GOD IS HAPPY WHEN YOU SERVE HIM. AND I CAN TRUELY SEE THAT YOU ARE ON FIRE FOR DRAMA AND FOR THIS CELL GROUP. "
instantly, i remembered what pst kong said in the saturday service.
God looks at the inside, not the outside. for the Kingdom of God is a Kingdom of attitude.I was so tired of asking "God, help me. help me." that i decided to go beyond! to ask Jesus "what can i do for you?" instead of always asking for help.
yesterday's svc really lifted me up and spurred me to rise up to an even greater level of spiritual maturity (:
xoxo, k.
