Run away with me to LONDON.

Sunday, December 30, 2007;

4:55 PM

dreams.
nightmares.

you know how little kids wake up crying in the middle of the night after a bad dream?
and couldnt go back to sleep after that?
i never experienced that as a kid.
to literally wake up crying.

had a nightmare last night.
it was scary.
or more of like, it was something i never want to happen in my life.
my dream... might have been comical to others (even to me when i told mag and fran), but it was totally the opposite when i was dreaming it.
it scared me.
i woke up crying and half-awake.
Big Sister was staring at me, i think she had the shock of her life.
who wouldnt?

i never cried after a bad dream before.
even the most freakiest ones when i was being chased by some unknown green ghostly-like stuff in my dreams.
i knew something was wrong.
yet, i didnt say anything.

but all of it

seemed like a scene

rehearsed from a play...

----

I didn't cry the day you moved away
I didn't think that I could feel this pain
Until I saw the stranger that was you

its that yellow-jacket girl again.
the one i always see around with him.
beside him in services, together during dinner, hanging around him during those times before service started.
she's just a friend, kezia.
just a friend.
they were more than friends.
i can just.. tell.
dont ask me how, i just can.
correct me if im wrong, then.
correct me if what i said isnt true.
correct me if they were really just friends.

it doesnt seen like just friends to me.

I need to wake up from this state of mind
The situation is the same kind
I gotta get your memory out of my head
Would you catch me if I had to fall
Would you even find the time for that at all
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud

so many questions to ask Father.

why cant it be him?
because I have put a better one in your life. he is not the one.
why had i drifted from you, Father?
you came to church not because of Me, but because of him.
when did liking him became a burden?
ever since you decided to do things by yourself, without Me helping. and when you saw that there was another girl. anger and envy took over, making you tired and weary.
when did my feelings take over what i believed in You?
when you let your canal flesh took over. and it blinded the real you, you who had believed in My plan, and that everything has a right time for it.
why did i allow it to happen even though i knew?
because you wanted him, regardless of what was going to happen. you were blinded. you desired him. you prayed for a relationship between each other. you refused to acknowledged My answer for you. you didnt want to hear My answer for you.
true love isnt true, right?
it exists, but not now. everything has a season for itself. wait, and keep on waiting.
will you be with me, even as i meet other things in life that will test me?
I will be with you until the end of time. I will never leave or forsake you, this is My promise.

i love You, Father.
and I love you too, My beloved.

Could it be
That nothing's gonna change
Time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
The one I lost when I let go of you

im putting everything in my Father's hands once again.
everything's gonna be alright.
just keep hanging on to his promises, kezia.

----

it was quiet during the ride back home on the mrt.
wasnt talking as much as i used to.
fran and mag noticed it i guess.
i tried to joke with them. heh.
it helped, for a while.

sorry fran, for those black marks on your shoes i've made.
i just wanted to do something so that those shoes wouldnt be white.
too white.
too perfect.

i want to scream at something.
i want to yell at something.
i want to kick at something.
i want to run until im out of breath.
i want to jump into the sea.
i want to blast my ears with music.

i want to go somewhere.
i feel like going up to Heaven and saying Hi to Father.
heh. its fun.

yellow jacket girl appeared again today.
i had a strange feeling, like a mixture of jealousy perhaps?
she knows him so well.
and me?
only getting the jitters around me.
hardly can say hi without the insides squirming.

or maybe im just paranoid.
but, all these doesnt matter.
it all doesnt matter.
i was never meant to be together with him.
i was never meant to be together with him.
we were never meant to be together.

i rather not have him know all of this, its better than doing a mistake i know i'll regret.
i think i can talk to him more normally now.
i think i wont be hiding my face under my hair everytime i see him now.
i think i will be able to look him straight into the face now.

friends?
maybe. just maybe.

the play came to an abrupt end.

xoxo, k.

Saturday, December 29, 2007;

11:45 AM

OMG, DINNER AND DANCE! :DDDDD

the ex-w341s! HAHA.

the originals? LOL xD

and yes, wesley is wearing that Naruto Ninja Headband.

LOL.

me and mag (:
we were the receptionists!
hello, welcome to the masquerade ball!
can i have your mask please?
please sign over here!
thanks! -smile-
i think we are the prettiest receptionists there ever will be.
HOHO :D

dinner and dance was fab. (:
too bad there wasnt a lot of cgs there.
if not more fun ehhhh. haha
saw daphne and cheryl though, cheryl's mask is IMPORTED CAN.
O_O HAHA.
and daphne's mask could have won the Best Mask competition.
only that people didnt know whats her name so that they could write in on their voting slips.
HAH.

we had a kind of runway thing, where you and your partner (guy/girl) had to wear their masks and "model-walk."
my partner was kinda cute okay, mag! :D
haha, he had an accent!
he sounds smart, LOL. he's called joseph.
yours was FUNNY ONLY. AHAHA.
and i actually remembered his name, not like WAIWAI!
:DDD
but we all know B-I is cuter! HAHAHAHA!

camwhored like A LOT MANZXZ.
its good to have a camera phone, yay (:
its super lot of photos, so i decided to just throw them into a collage and upload them.
if not will take too long la. >( HAHA.
originals are still with me, so if you want them i'll send it over on MSN! (:
just give me a text. (:

collage one! (:

haha, look at the middle horizontal row, first picture.

its FRANFRAN by the way. he's POSING, that POSER COW. :D

hiahiahia. and the picture beside it shows wes, marcus and ck.

THEY DRESS LIKE PASTOR LIKE THAT LOR. HAHA

prophesy! prophesy! :D LOL.

but they looked really good, especially ck. haha (:

and arabelle looks constipated on the last photo.

eh! but yi ling, joselin and arabelle look dang sexy la! HAHAHA

collage 2 (:

again, second row, first picture.

its serena putting lip gloss for marcus!

HAHAHA SO GAY CANNN >:D

went to mag's house on wed for sleepover w geraldine! (:

met francis and wes and we went over to bukit panjang plaza before the guys headed to jurong point.

where franfran got his BLACK VEST.

and then he tells me, "hey, you know what this black vest reminds me of? B-I."
omg la. haha.

francis is doing some constipated thing that looks like a dance move.

the camera was hidden, so he didnt know i was taking it.

HURHUR :D

below is the

collage of the photos taken at mag's house. (:

again, lazy to upload everything so i just threw them all together.

originals with me, talk to me on msn! (:

i cant believe i slept with mag's PINK blanket la -_-

its like PINK.

see 2nd row, 3rd picture. HAHA.

and mag was being emo also. hiding at the foot of my bed.

go guess the picture. :D

made our masks the night before and camwhored with it. LOL.

and we saw mag's unglam side toooooo! like that towel-on-her-head picture above. HURHUR.

eh, but mag is super scary at night one. >:D

HIAHIA, WONT SAY ANYMORE LA. >:D

eh, i want the pictures that the photographer person took tooooooooo! :D

he took a lot on meee, HAHA.

okay, shall go uploaded these on cg blog and im off to do homework!

see ya people (:

} 20TH IS COMING! :D

xoxo, k.

Thursday, December 27, 2007;

5:31 AM

maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

Switchfoot is one of my favourite bands (:
The song lyrics are great, it kinda pierces into your soul.
i love their songs. its totally fabbb.

everyone should get their albums, seriously. (:

been listening to one of their older song, Dare You To Move.
heard it a few weeks ago on You've Got Talent 's blog.
its oh-gosh-really-good.
the lyrics, oh the lyrics! :D

Switchfoot - Dare You To Move

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

when i first saw the lyrics (which was yesterday actually), oh man.
its just great.
Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here
(:

i am so in love with Switchfoot songs.

HAPPY BOXING DAY (: had a good haul this year? :D
ooh, and the 20th is coming!

xoxo, k.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007;

2:45 PM

MERRY CHRISTMAS, PEOPLE :D

thanks for all the christmas presents/text messages/calls!
HAHA (:
pictures to be uploaded and its done! (:
(yay, like finally)

on the way to saturday's service at expo (:
with serena's sunglasses!

this is my really cuteee cousin, marc! :D

so cute can, he was going around blowing the whistle. HAHA

i think he's 4 years old?

heh.

went over to my aunt's place for christmas gathering on christmas eve.

i saw my hotttt cousin, samuel. eh, we same age la.

(but i think im smarter, HAHA)

he looks waaaay different. should have taken a picture. heh

i think all the girls will swoon can.

HE'S SINGLE, PEOPLE! :DDD

i think someone looks better eh. HAHA

franfran's little brother!

he's like a second francis okay.

i think he'll grow up to be very lame like fran.

HAHAHAHA but he's cute (:

he offered me chocs! whee

well, merry christmas to me.

Os next year and there are books waiting for me.

sigh.

lizzie's and caleb's christmas present!

so crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy la!

its a weighing scale by the way.

HAHAHAHAHA but thanks for the deco, it looks dang nice eh.

especially the fish ah. :DD

this is the back of it!

and liz, you have to get me a birthday present also okay!

NO BRAS OR UNDERWEAR. HAHA :D

christmas present from my aunt.

an attempt to get me to be more feminine i guess.

actually, its quite nice.

ROXY lehs. HAHA :D

i dunno when im gonna use it. x)

last candlelight service on sunday! (:

it was the service that my aunt and hot cousin went too too. HAHA

met them in the food court actually. :D whehehe

in the picture: me and serena (: yay

this reminds me of francis, HAHA.

SEXY MAMA COW (:

its my little cousin, marc's stuffed cow by the way.

hahaha!

okay, im done and i wanna go watch peter pan on channel five now.
see ya around and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

20th january is coming soon, yay! (:

xoxo, k.

Monday, December 24, 2007;

2:08 PM

HAHA! :D
the week has been fabbb.
was truely blessed and everything (:
finally got the pics uploaded so here they are!

went over to aunty mary's place to bake christmas cookies last friday!
so while waiting for the cookies to be done, valerie and xavier decided to climb all over me and insisted i take pictures with them. HAHA :D

see that poopoo valerie behind! she pulled off the christmas that i had and started waving around. LOL. so cute la (:

xavierrrrrrrrrrrr! (: he was doing the cross-eyed thing. LOL.

went over to yi ling's for steamboat night at 6++pm.
i didnt know how to get to her house and ended up walking the REALLY REALLY long way can -_- but cell phone was there to entertain me w music yea. :] so cool.
and i get to exercise tooooooo, HAHAHA.

yi ling's cute little brother!
his eyes are really HUGE. so cuteeee can (:

yes, the two retards. wes and fran!
see their matching geeky specs! HAHAHA :D

HAH, hot dogs anyone? (:

(sounds .. wrong? LOL)

this is the extremely geeky picture of mag wearing wesley's glasses and cap.

i wonder if all river valley people like that uh!

HAHA, MAG AND FRAN ;D

personalities crisis. HAHA (:

arabelle and mag, the evil geeky sisters!

serena, hip hop dancer.

kezia, the extremely pretty and smart supermodel okay!

ahahahaha :D

serena looks ... retarded.

why is she puffing up her cheeks, lol.

christmas service yesterday at expo was good.

didnt manage to get those extra faboulous seats infront of the stage, but considering 1400 people in the overflow room, im quite glad i got in (:

pastor preached a message on peace which was short but impactful (:

christmas drama was really nice, i cried at the end and during the candlelight part.

it was so touching okay.

many thanks to the dramatists who can really act manzxz.

especially bernard and adrian. LOL.

gave christmas cookies to mag, wes, fran, arabelle, shelle, geraldine, esther, emoshit, and pj!

others.. gotta wait till i see them, hah. :D

the focus is on the shiny santa hat!

too bad the picture is really dark ):

many thanks to JUNE! who gave me the fab hat :D

HAHAHAHAH.

esther looks ... wierd!

(she was forced to do this, by the way.)

actually, she looks like a red elf. heh

today's svc at JW was okay i guess.

although the christmas drama has different dramatists, it was still good! (:

i still think bernard was a better shoe salesman though the the other guy. =X

hahahah.

CK! :D cute right.

extremely retarded picture :D

candycane earrings are coooooooool okay!

sexy. haha

went over to plaza sing and far east to get our mask for d&d this thursday! (:

legs are aching okay. i didnt know ps and far east is like, farrr.

mag wanted to propose to me with fake flowers.

i shy okay! :DD

next time want to propose, use real flowers instead. :D

roses will work. HAHA

in this picture: geraldine, mag, me and shelle.

i encourage all to go for christmas service at chc this week!

its really nice and beautiful with all the candles out (:

makes you really marvel at the beauty of this tiny light.

truely, we are the light of the world (:

Mother found out about extended coloured hair.

so funny, her reaction. :D

i have no idea how to hide it when i go back to school.

HAHAHHAAH. i dont even wanna take it out when school starts.

i wanna stroll into school w my coloured extended hair HAHAHA!

wonder what sng will say manzxz.

think he'll freak. yay! so fun :DDD

and to think im suppose to be the good role model student councillor.

RIGHT, LIKE THAT WILL HAPPEN. :D

2 more days to christmas, woohoo. (:

and 28 more days to birthday!

:D ROARAHAHAHAH!

xoxo, k.

Friday, December 21, 2007;

12:40 PM

taken at the east coast outing. hah (:

this was so candid okay.
that javin la.
went to siam off right before vicky snapped the pic. hahaha :D

grace, javin, fidi, sharon and me! (:

east coast waters were really nice that day.

hahaha, i wanna go there again!

too bad school starting soon, eh. HAHA

did a couple of questions on MENSURATION today.

gah, almost died okay.

totally forgotten the formulaes for like, cosine rule sin rule.

so screwed, somemore got test first week of school.

aiya. there's always after christmas right?

dang, i gotta stop procastinating.

xoxo, k.

Thursday, December 20, 2007;

3:12 PM

how do you think esther will look like with long hair? :D

SO HOT RIGHT?

actually, she looks a bit like minnie mouse?

you know, black ears and red ribbon.

heheh (:

xoxo, k.

;

7:48 AM

im dang bored at home.
wish school will start earlier.
i cant believe im missing school, omg.

sorry mag! havent uploaded the pics we took ytd on the bridge.
HAHA. i wanna go back there again and go all crazy :D
and find a day when we can go out and buy the stuff for d&d can! >:D
you everytime not freeeeeee one! ): HAHA

i think i should get started on those half-done homework sitting on my desk.
hah. hilter SEQs and terrorist comprehensions waiting for me manzxz.
so is trigonometry, gah.

see you all on christmas!

} 1 month and 1 day more, i so cant wait. WHEEEEEE (:

xoxo, k.

Monday, December 17, 2007;

1:14 PM

HAHAHA. i shall blog about franfran.

francis came back form china on saturday and he bought like branded stuffs okay.

see the photo! he is wearing an adidas belt, adidas shoes, black jeans, puma shirt and carrying a nike bag.

i think francis felt super branded today.

HAHA. and mag (the girlFRAN.) was not happy.

because poor francis forgotten to get his girlFRAN a present from china.

and he got me a present. HAHA.

chey, i wanted adidas jacket lor. but then, didnt ask ):

NEXT TIME FRANCIS GOES OVERSEAS I SHALL CHUNK A LIST OF THINGS FOR HIM TO BUY FOR ME.

hahahahaha :D

actually, now that i think of it.

francis looks really niang in the photo. see his wrist!

HAHA (:

oh i almost forgot.

mag is miffed cos francis chose his plastic Monkey Toy that moves its legs and arms (like a crazy monkey) over her.

his monkey toy is now his spouse and mag is thrown aside.

poor yy. x) but... they cant divorce or break up (cos of what pst kong preached today, HAHA)

so i guess they're stuck together for life?

HAHAAAAAAA :D

sermon was fabbbbbbbbb.hearing it the second times makes me more on fire and passionate for the things of the Lord.and yes i totally agree w pst kong.

people should expand their vocab instead of going ___, ___, ___ all the way.

blankity, blank, blank. hahaha :D

whatever words you speak sets the boundary of your life! :D

really loved today's svc ((:

i shall expand my vocab! (and ace english, yeaaaaa)

oh yeah, and the part about LOVE.

hahahaha, LOVE RELATIONSHIP (:

we can give without loving but we cant love without giving!

so in conclusion, PASTOR KONG ROCKS AND GOD IS AWESOME, FULLSTOP (:

tradition, transition, transformation ;D yay.

okay, im bored.

shall go find more songs and upload into new phone, yay (:

i need the hard cover for my phone seriously.

- 1 mth and 4 days more!

xoxo, k.

Saturday, December 15, 2007;

10:38 PM

happy birthday KAH KEONG! (:

(:
i promised s'pore/indo camp pics so here they are!

ahhh, yes. the chicken affair (:
multi-level captain's ball and the raw chicken was worth 200 pts.
HAHAHA everyone went crazy. :D
the guy in black, and the guy in white and blue is from my team (:
we won btw. :D
and yea, i DID grab the chicken and threw it.
it was so fun okay (:

the one in blue is MOHAWK (aka abel) :D
arcade freak, hates dota and he's nice.
hahahaha. his hair is a mohawk cut btw (:
he should be honored, our group was named after him.
heh.

group one (MOHAWK!) at orchard! (:
the guy in red beside me is roger, btw :D
russell leong's brother, and my group instructor!
he's cool. haha!

didnt want to post this picture up at first cos i looked super unglam.
MR PIERCE AH, MR PIERCE.
why you take so unglam picture!
take my good angles la xD
anyways, its abel (centre) and ardi (right) and roger (background) in the pic (:
MR PIERCE's camera is really nice, and the quality is pretty good too.
thats why i posted this up. ahaha (:

and its one more final ROGER'S POSE w all the campers before we went our separate ways.
its sad okay. i miss all of them alrd ):

its me, cindee and kiki posing infront of the whole M&N. :D HOHO.
cindee and kiki is from indonesia and they're cooooooool okay (:

another pose w them infrom og the cinderella-like thingy.

so shiny and silvery lor. :D

cant resist taking a picture infront of it, hehe.

oh yeah. this is extremely funny.

there was this guy walking around orchard road w the signboard that reads,

"im going to propose to my girlfriend. i need 33 signatures."

my whole group went to sign their name and snapped a picture.

HAHAHA SO COOL OKAY.

see, i was part of getting a couple together.

im just so nice (:

another group pic infront of the bright and pretty thingy.
HAHA. theres a huge toy soldier on the pillar if you can see (:
click pic to enlarge.

there's ALOT more in facebook if you guys want it.
anyways!
went for camp outing at east coast last thursday (:
thanks to all who came! :DDDD
i had a fabbbb time.
took a couple of pics with my new 2.0 MEGAPIXEL SONY ERICSSON PHONE!
HAHA

this is graceeeeeeeeeeeee!

hahahahh wanted to post another of the picture up.

but grace claims she looks retarded in that pic so SINCE IM NICE, i decided not to post that up.

HAHA

vicky and her retarded pose.

HAH, i went to upload it on facebook.

hope i dont get slaughtered by her when school re-opens :D

me and diana!

she's the one that always wakes me up during amath class.

heh, she's nice.

she lets me "refer" to her math homework. HAHAHA (:

but i DO learn okay (:

okay, done w all the uploads!

whew (:

yay, im happy now.

i saw a ton of "You've Got Talent" pictures (:

drama group! i would join them if i could. heh :D

too bad we're in different zones.

besides, i've got SephorisProductions, yeah!

hhahhaahaha.

sermon was fab today (: really enjoyed it.

and franfran came back today! :D

okay, update more another time, gotta go rest for tmrw's JW service! ((:

} 1 month and 5 days moreeeee! (: cant wait.

xoxo, k.

Friday, December 14, 2007;

1:05 PM

im extremely annoyed.
people shouldnt be so dang rude and just walk off.
and feigned ignorance pisses me off too.

dang it, is being a teenyweeny bit more courteous too tiring for you?
are you gonna faint if you didnt ignore them?
i seriously don't think so.

Labels: annoyed

xoxo, k.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007;

6:38 AM

picture taken during history class, someday before april i think :D
its huiyi and me! (when i still had long hair)
i was looking through the old pics i had, and came across this one.
decided to post it up. :] heh.

started watching the drama It Started With A Kiss (chinese version).
i dont know if there's a Jap version of the drama, but the chinese one definately SUCKS.
ariel lin acts all cutey/annoying/dense/whiny in the drama.
(even more than her character requires her to)
i think she cant act in this drama. -gags.-
it seriously SUCKS okay. mag, dont watch it!
the storyline is okay though, the opening and ending songs are nice and the lead guy is hot.
HIAHIAHIA.
but we all know which guy is hotter, yea :D
im at episode 6 already, and i still dont like the drama.
grah, one of the worst dramas i've ever seen.
i just dont like it. ):
annoying female lead. spoils the whole show.

[edit]
and omg.
i skipped ep 7-18 and only on the 19th episode the guy confessed.
uh, abit slow can?
rah.
[/edit]

franfran went off to china this morning.
he's so crazy can, 5am plus in the morning text our cg and his wushu ppl.
fran: S'long people! Im off to china =D sms/call me till sunday yea? Hahas. Im gna miss you guys. Jiayous yea? =D see ay on sunday!
me: BYE FRANFRAN! REMEMBER TO GET ME SOMETHING!
fran: Hahas, sure! i'll get you a box w "something" written on it =D hmms you must specify what you wnt leh. u and mag very ambigious leh O_O
me: i dont know what is there in china ma :d so if you see something that screams KEZIA! at you den you buy it lo.
fran: Hahas what if my grandma screams KEZIA! at me? =D "sorry granny, u are mine >:)" hahas i know, i buy you a stuffed bumblebee/flamingo! Bumblego! Flamingbee!
HAHAHA. SO RETARDED CAN.

and mom is coming back from Malacca today! :D
see you all around!

} 1 month and 9 days more! :D

xoxo, k.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007;

5:40 AM

decided to try out some brushes, and viola (:
pretty works by kezia.
i really wanna do a blogskin template for the cg blog.
i have talents and a flair for art okay!
hohohoho.
(omg, i sound like santa.)

lizzie lost the photo ):
oh wells, nvm la.
im probably gonna wear that outfit for service on birthday weekend. :D
i hope pst A.R. Bernard comes to preach for that weekend.
he's having a business breakthrough conference that week anyways.
hiahia. >:D
and its settled!
xiuzhen and my cg will go over to bedok that week and celebrate :]
I WANT A BIRTHDAY CAKE (HINTHINT)

i really pray tha cell group meeting wont shift to saturday.
manzxz, pleasepleaseplease.
i want to go for services on saturday.
i dont even mind if cg on friday is earlier.
please just keep my saturdays free.
rachel told us that Jo wanted our cg to shift back to expo.
omg, when she said that I almost went, "YESSSSSS!"
then her next sentence was, "But i fought for you guys! I told Jo that we would stay here! And that was because you guys said that you can reach out better here!"
i went like, "grh." ):
Honestly speaking, i didnt want to move.
i didnt want to leave expo, and go for services at JW.
personally, i really think that i can reach out to friends even though we are at expo.
look at my cg!
we've grown by 7 people since 2 mths ago.
and its not come-and-go people.
its rooted in the word, having bs, coming for double services people.
and we werent even at JW yet.
i believe that even at expo, we can reach out.
but if its the will of my cgl, i will follow.
what can i say? -sighs.-
i hope rachel doesnt see this.
oh wait, maybe she will and then we'll shift to expo. :]
argh, i dont know anymore la.

gonna get my early christmas present from my dad today!
Sony Ericcson W660i (:
its black and gold babehhhhhhhhhh.
hiahiahia >:D
okay, shall go experiment w photshop more. :D

} 1 month and 10 days more!

xoxo, k.