Thursday, November 27, 2008;
2:07 PM
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brillant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be?
- Akeelah and the Bee Movie 2007
xoxo, k.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008;
10:19 PM
So stand at the edge with meHold on before it's too late.
Before it's too late - Goo Goo Dolls
I wandered through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
And I stood at a distance to feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes
And hold on before it's too late
We'll run 'til we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives
And the risk that might break you is
The one that would save
A life you don't live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone
Hold on before it's too late
We'll run 'til we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives
Live like you mean it
Love 'til you feel it
Its all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til its gone
Hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
Its all that we need in our lives
Hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
Its all that we need in our lives
Its all that we need in our lives
Its all that I need in my life
----
I miss everything. I miss everyone.
xoxo, k.
Monday, November 24, 2008;
11:35 AM
I will lay down my life, for the love sacrifice You gave to me;It's all because of You, all because of You...Firstly, I would like to thank all those that prayed for me yesterday while I was having a really bad fever. It is really a joy to be in chc 'cos there are many many people who shows genuine care and concern for you! :) My temperature has gone down, but I'm still having a slight fever, but He is Jehovah Rapha! And soon I'll be okay :D
Okay so Asia Conference 2008 was a blast! The various sermons by different speakers really inspired me to go up to an even higher level of spiritual maturity and serve more for my Lord! I want to type every single thing they said in this blog post but I guess it'll be really long so aww. hahas! Get the DVD :) I really hope my dad gets the DVD for Asia Conference, I really wanna hear it all over again :) Asia Conference 2010, I can't wait for it :D
I guess lots of people know that there are a few disappointments and people that were upset in my cell group over the past five days, but I really wanna thank God that thru this circumstances I have learnt a lot and will change from the mistakes I made. Rachel once said that a leader is one that admits their own mistakes, and I don't see the point of running away from them :) Learn, grow, and thank God for them! I decided that I don't want to try to be a leader that surpasses everyone, but be someone who serves. I mean, after all Jesus came to this earth to serve and not to be served. I want to think positively and smile~ cos it's medicine for our souls! woooo~ Well I guess that there's two choices we can make when we're discipled: either we take it in our stride and grow, or resent our leader and be stubborn to change. I seriously think the first is so much bttr :)
I think I need my lunch now and more rest! Shall update again soon :)
xoxo, k.
Saturday, November 22, 2008;
5:12 PM
Getting sick right smack in the middle of Asia Conference really sucks.
Asia Conference have been really great so far (not to mention the nice food :D) and I've been really empowered thru the various sessions! Seriously, I don't regret going home late at night and then waking up the next morning at 6am to queue for the morning sessions. Although it has been really tiring, I've learnt lots. Tmrw's the Grand Finale! I hope I get well (like by tonight) so that I can go tmr~ yay
I guess there are many mistakes that I have to learn from thru the various circumstances in my life. That's a really random statement but my mistakes caused the loss of something precious and I don't ever want it to happen again.
Okay so 'nuff said and plenty of rest for Kezia! see you around!
xoxo, k.
Saturday, November 15, 2008;
9:01 PM
Today's BBQ was fab, I ate and ate and ate! HAHAHA. and mag taught me a new way to wrap presents! really nice. :) I hope the cg members liked their bday pressies! Rachel really talked lots about our cg like humbling ourselves. So when people go like "Kezia I love you!", I won't be like "I know I know I know" but I'll be gracious and just say Thanks. HAHA! I guess I learnt thru the whole bbq experience that be it planning for outings or accounting to others, you gotta be sharp and follow thru everything thru the end. It isn't just asking others to bring food, but double checking if everything is there and everyone done their jobs. :) There was many stuff that wasn't brought (lighter, butter etcetc) but I feel that it isn't the members fault that they didn't bring it, but rather my fault that I didn't check thoroughly enough. So... I shall continue to learn and to grow! I don't have to be afraid or resent being discipled by my leaders, but I shall take it in my stride and continue to press on in being a leader to others!
I totally missed going out with mag and the others to buy food yesterday ): But... my back was killing me like crazy. Could barely move at all! Didn't realise that ladylene couldn't make it as well, I guess she was tired from her Prize Giving Ceremony and stuff. I had hoped that the rest would understand... but well. Not going to complain. I was the one at fault, backing out at the last minute, but my back was sprained (I sound like an old woman bleh)! Couldn't even catch HSM3 with ly and the others ): Had to rush a lot of last minute stuff today as well, like cakes and presents for the birthday people, but I'm glad that I've done it with a cheerful spirit :) I even had fun with ladylene and mag! Hahaha
The joy of the Lord is my strength so I'm thankful He had brought me thru today! Plus the back pain lessened after cg's prayer meeting so yay!
I always had the knack of knowing the moods of people around me (ever since I found out in Secondary Two, was so freaked out can), and I've been wondering ever since then... is it discernment? After all, it is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit:) I would know if people were angry or friendly, caring or malicious. There are times that I just passed it off as oh maybe I'm sensitive but, sometimes it hurt to know what others are going thru or what others thought. But I've decided that I don't wanna get hung up on the little things that annoy me, it doesn't help me in my spiritual walk with God. It destroys me and gives me horrible thoughts. So I guess that I wouldn't really care what others think of me, besides Mag will always ZHI CHI WO. haha!
I'm looking forward for Ladylene's baptism tmr! ((: yay! She's such a funny bubbly girl, and I have the feeling that she'll grow up to be very fervent and passionate for God! First time I met her and she's so quiet can, now she's talking and talking and talking HAHA! But she's a great friend, and I really thank God for her (:
Oh oh oh. I did an extremely impulsive thing last wednesday (after Chemistry paper) HAHAHA. I was so upset over the MCQ paper that I cut off my fringe using the kitchen scissors. Now it looks like bangs but its so totally not bangs can. pfffffft. There's too many people having bangs! I'm so sick of people coming up to me and saying "omg kezia you cut bangs?!" so I decided to re-cut it and make it slanted. I don't care how short its going to be. Bangs are like... not me. So there. And moral of the story, don't do impulsive things.
Okay well, I'm off to watch my anime. heeee :)
xoxo, k.
Friday, November 14, 2008;
9:29 AM
(400th post! :D)
IT'S FINALLY OVER! Well, technically my final paper was over yesterday morning. I didn't really had the time to touch the computer so I figured I should probably update now. (: I still can't believe its over, I woke up this morning without having to worry abt the Os! Now I have to get a move on and start throwing all the mock papers and worksheets that piled up under my bed, table and even on the floor. I'm going to keep my History, SS, and Amath stuff though (: Can't wait for JC life. HAH MUGGER. Actually, I wanted to come here and rant out about a particular someone that pissed me off yesterday late afternoon, but I realised that I didn't want to be those kind of people that slanders other on their blogs. I mean like, thats kinda low you know. But I also know that confronting that person (that I was upset with) won't do any good, cos I don't think he/she would take it too well. His/Her character... well, let's not judge others. At the end of the day, you don't account to me or the cg leader, you account directly to God.
I woke up this morning and stretched and my back kinda went CRICK and now the pain is madness. I can barely move ): I seriously hope I can make it later for HSM3 with the others, I don't wanna spend my whole day staring at the computer or slacking at home. Bored like heck. But I believe that you know,
Jehovah Rapha He is our Healer. (:
Rereading the whole Twilight saga (now on Eclipse) and Edward hotness la. (i think millions of girls around the whole think so too but yeah) But hey, if a book is good, it's worth reading again and again right? :D And I think I have to catch up with all the dramas that I missed this past 2 months ):
I am so bored, I shall read Eclipse now. SEE YOU AROUND (:
xoxo, k.
Saturday, November 08, 2008;
7:35 PM
bang-bangs & short-bob! red is the best.
JOL zone cell group lat thursday was fab :) camwhored a lot on the way back home in the mrt! and I must say that my hair looks very nice now. (aw, c'mon don't deny it) saw lots of people that I haven't seen since the last time I went to Expo for service! I miss my zone can. I saw Elisha, Anzoe, Mousey, Samson, Jeffrey, AndyA. and AndyK., Darrion, Jacob, Weishan, Zhengyuan, Ivan, Xueting... okay its gonna be a long list so I think I should stop mentioning everyone I saw. Hoho. I miss all of them can. I shall make a trip back to Expo for the saturday service after O levels and see everyone :D
So the cell group was empowering and I learnt lots. I have to put my plans into action! I must have my resolve to do my part to improve my cell group! I must start by first being an example! :D Serving not for status, but 'cos you love and you wanna see people getting saved. well yeah i love jo. ahaha!
I want to read the whole Twilight saga books again, but there's 6 more papers! gah. Midnight Sun was pretty nice, I read the draft on Stephenie Meyer's Official website and it's pretty fab. Although it isn't finished yet, I think I'm going to get the book when it's finally published. But... who knows when it'll be published. Haha! Oh. Speaking of Twilight, anyone has the new Twilight movie soundtrack? :D (talk to me on msn) Decode by Paramore is absolute love. :) And everyone knows that Edward Cullen is so hot. You must be living under a rock if you didn't know that! HAHA
Okay, I'm feeling pretty hungry right now and I have to finish up my Physics MCQ Longman book! Just 3 more MCQ papers for Pure Science and 3 pathetic CLB (haha joke of the year) papers and I'm done. Can't wait for 9am on 13th Nov. whoo~ okay, see you around :)
xoxo, k.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008;
12:55 PM
For all things work out for the good of those who love God and His purpose.
3 more ScMCQs prs and 3 CLB prs more to go before the O levels are officially over! :) I believe I can score really well!
I didn't really feel like studying for the remaining prs (I know laziness is a sin, I want to change it too) so I've decided to read my past blog posts. I actually started reading from April 2007, and as I read I realised how much I've changed over this one and a half year. I didn't change for the better, I actually became worse. Yes, I know that I've learnt a lot more from the Word Of God, I've become someone who knows the importance of loving my cell group members as well as growth and fruitfulness. But in my attitude I've become somewhat more short-tempered, more whiny, more of a 'do this, do that' kind of person, going through cell group and service as though its a
duty to do so. But i realised (when I was talking to gabby) that wanting to be the Me in the past (who is more spiritual, more trusting, happier, delighted to do the things of the Lord willingly) was never going to happen if I don't change. Without realising it, I've slowly begun to be someone that does things for the sake of doing it, relying on my own strength and feeling miserable all the time.
I wanted to talk to people about this... But it always seemed like they were busy with all their other stuff, like school, exams, etcetc. I've begun to keep things bottled inside of me and have that cheerful outlook but inside I'm all messed up. I don't like having to smile and be all friendly when I don't feel like it. AKA to do something I'm not willing. I want to be willing to serve and to pray and to read my bible, not just doing it out of a duty, but becos I love to do it. Honestly, I've never thought I would go through this. You know... spiritual and all that stuff. But I'm imperfect as well, and I will have my times when I go through the valleys. But as Psalms 23 says,
I will trust in Him, His rod and staff will comfort me.
There's lots of stuff I have to change within me, and slowly, I will lean more on God's strength and change for the better and be someone I am proud of. I think that, if I just believe in God regardless what the situation is, everything other problem I'm facing will be overcomed. Instead of getting hung up on the little problems, wouldn't it be better if I place everything in God's hands?
I decided to end off this post by posting something I found while reading the older posts! (May 07? lol, postspostposts)
My previous leader said to me once:
You are the best dramatist in our cg. Never let what other people think affect your life with God. Never let negative thoughts enter your mind. When you do, you'll start to feel worthless. Who cares what other people think? It only matters what God thinks. And God is happy when you serve him. And I can truely see that you are on fire for drama, and for this cell group.Instantly, I remembered what pst kong said in the saturday service. God looks at the inside, not the outside. For the Kingdom of God is a Kingdom of attitude. I was so tired of asking "God, help me, help me," that I decided to go beyond! To ask Jesus "What can I do for You?" instead of always asking for help. Yesterday's svc really lifted me up and spurred me to rise up to an even greater level of spiritual maturity (:
----
So... What can I do for You today, God? :)
xoxo, k.
Saturday, November 01, 2008;
1:23 AM
I don't care what people say, I still think Bleach rocks.
I shall rewatch the whole series (ep 1 to 190) again after O levels :D
xoxo, k.