Wednesday, December 31, 2008;
8:26 PM
In 2008, I remembered I...- made plenty of new friends, and lost some of them.
- lost my anger at times when I'm frustrated at things.
- offended people, and they annoyed me.
- went through my O levels and studied more than I ever did in the past 15 years.
- trusted God a lot more.
- prayed a lot more.
- fasted a lot more.
- served in the cell group a lot more.
- was more open to share my problems to people.
- joined Chingay 2008 although I never thought I would survive through the tough trainings
- knew JOL a lot more during the holidays and met many people
- was involved in Easter Productions 08!
It was such a joy to be in Chingay together with the rest of the CHC people :) Met some who were pretty funny in their own ways, some who repeatedly whacked my head with their spear/sword (HAHA EDMUND), some that accidentally knocked me with their elbows when it was all chaotic, and some who were became closer to me during that period. Never regretted having a good experience in Chingay so thanks to everyone I've met there! :)
Same goes for JOL zone camp in June where I met many of my zone members and got closer to them!
Those late nights and long practice rehearsals was really worth it as we come out to play the various roles we're assigned to... I met so many others to shared the same passion and enthusiasm to serve God on the stage! It was a really good and fun experience :)
I really wanna thank a few people that has impacted me in some way or another by their laughter, extreme lameness, stone replies, pointless conversations that we've all enjoyed, crazy things they've done, or just by extending a listening ear to me :)
First up...
to Sarah: Thanks for everything, busy bee :D I think I blogged about you in one of my previous long posts a long time ago... go check it out and read it again! You'll feel reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaally loved by ME :D
to Lydia: AHAHAHA LYDIA. Happy 16th Birthday!! You're finally 16 :D Thank you for those late night calls I had with you when I can't get anyone else 'cause they were all asleep. During those situations I was so glad you were a late night person and not a morning person. Hahaha thanks for your help in my math, I think I would have died in Amath class if I didn't have you ): (aww, see, I'm so nice to thank you) If you forget me, I will bring a parang to your house and chop you :D hahahaha
to Alicia: Wah you ah. Talk to you in class and your replies all super stone one lor! Hahaha But you're really funny at times hoho. Thanks for all the times we cam-whored together when there wasn't teachers in class (haha) and your obsession with Japanese guys reallu crack me up. We shall get good grades for O levels together ok! :D
to Bainy: ehhh I really doubt you'll read this xD but thanks anw Bai for all the times you've helped me in my homework and studies... I still remembered all the times you asked me to concentrate and not play around when we're studying in the library la! (scary memories. hahha) Xie xie ni :D
And... there's always the crazy, weird, and caring ones that always listen to my problems:
Magger and Ding :D
Gabby~ :) I think I said my thanks to you many many times already can. Hahaha but thanks for being there for me when no one was. O levels next year for you... But we'll still find time to go out with mag too k :)
Magger! Aiya 'nuff said right. I don't even have to say thanks already la, you already know right :) HAHAHA ni shi zui hao peng you, xie xie xie xie xie ni. Hahaha I'm so funny.
Oh yes, please don't torture me with your Knock Knock jokes anymore k Mag. HAHAHA :D
Last but not least... w341 and w483 (:
And as you can see, not everyone is in the picture... Hoho.
I love every single one of you guys even after we have split and multiplied, I think that you all were my courage and strength when I was down, you motivated me and encouraged me, taught me and loved me, cared and befriended me :) The road might be tough sometimes, but I pray that the joy of the Lord will be upon every single one of you guys wherever you go!
For 2009, I'll try my best to...
- complain less and stop making a small thing appear to be a big deal.
- stop procrastinating on certain things.
- read more books (EVEN the boring non-fiction ones!)
- study harder :D
- cut down on watching so many Jdramas and Taiwanese dramas.
- AND ANIME TOO!! (once per wk :D)
- lose some weight.
- offer my help more.
- love my members and friends more :)
- inspire, motivate and encourage the people arnd me!
- be the listening ear to anyone who needs one.
- sleep at least before 12am everyday (and not at 4am omg)
- trust Him more and pray more!
- get into drama ministryyyyyyyyyyyy yay
- spend more time with my family :)
Today was a great day 'cause I went for my run in the morning at 7am and didn't tire myself out today by going out for the countdowns! I like lazy rainy days. Hahaha
xoxo, k.
Monday, December 29, 2008;
11:44 PM
Meme Day 4:
Watched Bedtime Stories with sisterrrrrr today at Cathay Cineleisure and it was a pretty good movie! Laughed for like the whole half of the movie. You'll enjoy it seriously, so catch it if you haven't yet :)
Went over to Heeren Ed Hardy 'cause Yee Chun Li wanted to find her work/dance friend and I looked around the shop fo smth nice to get for Mag (gotta plan in advance to get her a good birthday present, she only accepts expensive stuff. Gotta save up la! pffft) and I actually saw a $300 Black rhinestones Geisha Short sleeved Tunic that was pretty nice. There's the $245 White musical piano note shirt with silver rhinestones flower at the side... thought that was nice as well :) I think its limited la! I only saw one piece. Hahahas
Okay I'm going to watch Closed Note, pray after that and then I'm off to bed! Busy day tmr and gotta wake up early. See you around :)
xoxo, k.
Sunday, December 28, 2008;
10:16 PM
"If you truely love someone you can let them go...
they'll come to you somehow."
Nothing much today 'cept for the year-end sermon of not looking back (like Lot's wife) and lunch with cg + connect group members reshuffling. Edited pictures with picnik.com 'cause the laptop is so outdated that Photoshop CS3 can't be downloaded. Movie date with w341 girls on tuesday @ Vivo and tmr night @ Cine with sisterrrrr, and a long blog post on 31st Dec from me of everyone I wanna thank. Checked out a couple of shops in Jurong Point (ever since the new shops opened, its been pretty cool) and updated my liste d'gifts for birthday under my profile.
Meme Day 3:I really love my connect group members more than ever... and I just realised that today. I was initially upset when I called up my members and none picked up, but then in my head there was a voice that said "Hey, pray!" So I prayed a 6 minutes plus prayer (I counted 'cause My Life, Your Song was playing while I prayed) and then I started calling again. PTL man, everyone answered on the first ring. Hahaha I was really glad. Talked to Chin Kiat after a loooooong time of not seeing him in chuch (and not calling him up) and he just lifted my spirits up by his cheerful and bubbly voice. He started telling me all about his day, his holidays, how he's coping with his parents, his cares, his worries, and I just felt that this is one kid that is such a bundle of joy. I wouldn't mind calling him up and just getting to know him more, seriously :)
I want to be a connect group leader that would inspire and motivate my members, to rise them up to be mature members that believe in breakthrough, trusting God in every situation they're in and being closer to the cell group more than ever! Amen.
Oh oh oh, and I must really get a move on completing my 2009 Goal Setting Card before the end of 2008! This year passed really fast... I'm already 17 next month! Seventeen sounds kinda old. Hahas
This is really random, but I miss Mag a lot and I can't wait for her to be back in Singapore. (Although I haven't touched her homework yet, hahaha) I just need someone to talk to, and I realised Mag wasn't around even when she's the first person that pops in my mind ): Call me soon Magger!
Okay I hope my sister sleeps real soon (like NOW) so that I can do my quiet time and prayyyyyyy. See you all around~
xoxo, k.
Saturday, December 27, 2008;
11:45 AM
"Don't make me a King and crucify me the next day."
Went over to Expo tdy for Sun's special interview service and it was actually good. I learnt quite a few things that I wanna take action in my life :) It was rather refreshing to take a break from the usual sermons and to just sit back and listen to how Sun is doing, as well as to learn certain truths in life.
Something that really really impacted me was the above line in italics. I think it was Pst Kong who mentioned it, and I remembered I was sitting in that blue chair at charlie terrance 1 and the words just shot into my heart. It just speaks so much of what I was going through. I don't want to be someone that is important to another, yet the next day I'm thrown aside 'cause I didn't live up to the person's expectations, or because I had unintentionally hurt them. I realised that I had to do what Sun did: Just don't care. I don't care about the disappointing and upset looks that was given, I don't care if everyone ignored me, I don't care what others think, I don't care about the negatism. I just don't care.
I was absentmindedly thinking of other things while on the train to Expo with the others, not really listening to their conversation. And I really do agree about smth Arabelle mentioned on her blog: 'It's amazing what your mind can do to you, it can create wild imaginations to affect how you feel and how you react to certain circumstances.' You wouldn't believe the amount of negative thoughts I had in that few hours. (I wouldn't want to mention it, it was really bad) I felt so drained, but as I worshipped God during the service, His voice was so clear in the midst of the music and singing. Receive the inner healing and let it go.
With Christ in me, no longer I... I'm going to let go of all my negative thoughts. After all, its not me anymore that lives in me.
MEME DAY TWO:
I actually heard some pretty good news from a certain someone about an another someone (Yes, this is to make you confused about the certain someone and someone and the other someone I'm talking about) and I called Jeyun and laughed like nuts over the phone. Plus yesterday night at 1am in the morning we were busy googling for a certain someone and laughed about everything under the moon. It kinda made my day (or rather NIGHT) 'cause... well, it's a girl thing. Hahahaha
Okay service tmr morning and I gotta wake up early so byeeee~
xoxo, k.
Friday, December 26, 2008;
10:02 PM
Went over to Fort Canning and The National Museum today! I guess I always wanted to go back there after the History trip before our Os but never really had the time to, but thank God today's weather was nice. Hahaha I shall go back there and take lots more pretty pictures once I get T77! The view from the top of the hill was really awesome :D Shall post the pictures taken (with the lousy 2megapix phone) in each subsequent posts from now on. Didn't take much pictures in the museum 'cause only non-flash cameras are allowed, and each gallery was really DARK. ):
Oh oh oh, it was free admission to all galleries today :) I never thought that there'll be a free admission when I went there actually. Hahahaha but yesssssssah. I saw this really gorgeous room as well, it was empty but it really looked like an art room in a big and expensive house. Fell in love with it the moment I saw it. I shall have that kind of interior design in my house next time!
There was actually a food gallery and Gabby pointed out something really cool can. It was a display of CINNAMON AND YOU COULD ACTUALLY SMELL IT TOO! :DDDDDD
Okay so basically I'm gonna explain now the whole big deal about cinnamons + me :)
Kezia \k(e)-zia\ is pronounced
ker-ZYE-ear. It is of Hebrew origin, and its meaning is "
cassia tree". Cassia is the generic name for a variety of trees and shrubs, one of which produces cinnamon. Biblical: one of the three fair daughters of Job.
What the picture above says:
There are two related plant species that are generically know as 'cinnamon'. Cinnamomum Zeylanicium (cinnamon) and Cinnamomum cassia (cassia). The former is common in South Asia, the latter in China. In terms of aroma and taste, the difference is a greater concentration of coumarin (an essential oil) in cassia. In singapore, cinnamon and cassia are prominent ingrediants in Malay, Indian, Chinese and Peranakan Chinese cookings.
Btw, that photo was taken at the food gallery :) And so that is why you see 'The Chinese Cinnamon' as my MSN status name quite a few months ago.
All I can say is... I'm pretty proud that I'm a spice (I bring flavour to people's lives) and used in China (Well, duh, my dad's side of the family tree is pretty amazing, but I'm not going to blog it here. Let's just say I like being a Chinese) and that is the reason why lydia gave the the cinnamon chewing gum :) And I love my name. Hahahaha
But the other thing I found out was... that Kezia was pronounced at ker-zye-ear! Should I start introducing myself as ker-zye-ear? Hahahaa it actually sounds pretty nice you know :)
And another thing I've just remembered! Since quite a lot of people have been asking me what I wanted for birthday next month, I've decided to post it all up on the wishlist under my profile in this blog. (In other words, look at the left side of the blog, DOOD) Haven't really decided what I want, so the list might grow longer. HAHAHA
So anyway... I got tagged. Meme:
The rules are that for 8 days you have to post something that made you happy that day. Tag 8 people to do the same.Magdelene Lim - Even though she's overseas, HOHO
Gabriel Ding - Who needs to update his blog more often!
Elizabeth Chin - Has happy things everyday I bet :D
Sarah Chan - Another person that has to update her blog more!
Alicia Koh - Eh, translate everything in Japanese kay. Hahas
Esther Tay - If she sees this, hahahaha
Sam Caleb Wee - If he sees this i guess. I never know when he visits my blog :)
Sieow Jeyun - 'Cos she's always free! HAHAHA
Meme Day 1:Something that make me happy uh... Okay, I actually went over to Plaza Sing after the trip to the museum and bought some scrapbooking stuff that cost me $17 (I realized that's actually considered cheap). I wanted to get the foam letters as well but I was short of money by 50cents! Hahaha BUT I'm going back there sometime next week to get it so yay :) I was pretty happy 'cause I actually wanted to do a special best-friends scrap for quite a long time, but haven't gotten a chance got the materials from More Than Love was so expensive. But no regrets today! I hope I get it done by 20th next month. It's like a present to myself, lol. Niceeeeeee.
Well that's that and I think it's been a pretty long post. Hahaha alright see you tmrw!
xoxo, k.
;
2:50 AM
Thursday, December 25, 2008;
11:41 PM
The LORD is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?
- Psalm 27:1
Merry merry christmas to everyone! (:
Christmas 08 was really great I guess. Had nice presents like cinnamon chewing gum, literature classic books from Gabby, Famous Amos cookies, chocolates, sweets and candycanes, dresses, a pretty dang nice japanese sign, clothes clothes and more clothes, as well as a chance to watch a rocking good drama in church!
Candlelight service on the 24th was really awesome as everyone lighted up their candles :) It actually kinda reminded me of how a little flame could spread to everyone. Just like how the fire and passion of various things in our life could be spread to the people around us... like love. I really want to be someone that could light up the lives of others as well :D
Loved the christmas drama! It was absolute win.
I think many might see it as a drama of how Jesus came to the earth and everything... But I kinda saw it in a different way. I don't know if it was meant to be like that, but I thought the angels and everything was likened to a cell group. They come together as one to sing and praise God... and they really really loved God will all their hearts. But there would always be the great angels full of talent and charisma, and then the little clumsy angel with a great fervency to serve the Lord. The leader would give a big job to the little angel to fulfill, and he'll be so excited and enthusiastic about it. I really felt like that during the drama... like how Rachel gives me "big assignments" and I'll be so happy to complete them.
And then the challenges and frustrations would come halfway thru the job. Mistakes will be made. I don't know why, but I really thought I felt what Benny went thru when he knew that all the newborn babies would be murdered. Being useless and helpless. When everyone is giving you accusing looks, you can't deny that it was your fault. And then the most frightening thing comes - the look of utter disappointment from the angel Gabriel. But what Mary said was really like a double edged sword into my heart. Giving up is not an option for me. She'd continued to go on even through the tough times and thus the Saviour of the world was born. The little angel didn't give up on his assignment either, and finished his job: to find a place for Jesus to be born. In the end, he had his really huge wings and was praised by God! It really made me cry 'cause I realised that at the end of that day, if I didn't give up serving God all the days of my life (even during the tough times), I would hear the words Well done, My good and faithful servant from my master :)
It has really changed my mindset and I feel so much more excited to love God and His purpose!
I remember what Pst Phil Pringle had mentioned during Asia Conference:
"When you're down in the valley, don't stop walking. Even when you stumble and fall, or lose so much of your strength that you can barely walk, keep going on. No matter how much you're bruised or how many times you have to stumble or crawl to carry on, don't give up."
I know it's frequently preached in services... But time and time again I'll be so refreshed and empowered by this few sentences. Like being powered up and ready to do much greater things for the heavenly God thats loves us :)
So I baked cookies and gave them as christmas presents to everyone this year! I think it tastes pretty good... But it can't be compared to the really yummy Famous Amos cookies Geraldine gave me today that I'm munching on now. Hahahaha looks like I have a long way more to go to making fabulous cookies :D
Lydia gave me cinnamon chewing gum from China! It's like having the complete set of cinnamon after-coffee snacks. HHAHAHA but thanks like, a million to ly!
And... lastly before I'm off to bed, Debra bought me something extremely cute for me from her trip to Japan! It's actually quite funny 'cause I didn't know what the sign said until she told me what it meant.
By the way, it says "Caution, Hot." HAHAHAHA so cute righttttttt. She said the sign was screaming "KEZIA!!" when she saw it :DD
So I thank God this christmas for every special friend (and some even special-ler ones :D) I know, 'cause you're the greatest gifts in my life. Without you all, I wouldn't be who I am today :)
OMG THAT SOUNDED LIKE A SPEECH. HA! Okay well, it's late and I shall be off for bed. See you all around!
xoxo, k.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008;
11:34 PM
List of things you can get for 20th January:
- 10.1 megapix Lime Green T77 Sony Cybershot
- iPod Touch HAHA.
- Honour's Reward by John Bevere
- Driven By Eternity by John Bevere
- 4th Dimensional Living by Dr. Yonggi Cho
- Thick White-band Watch with silver-grey border (From Lafond)
- Black Guess Leather wallet!
- Black Vest (Charlotte Fitted Vest! Click here to see)
- Grey Boyfriend Shirt (From Cara, Click here to see)
- Chunky Chain Necklace :) (Reference to the one I normally wear)
- Forever21 Trendy Girl Tunic
- Forever 21 The Beatles Tee
- Red (Large) Crumpler Sling<3
- Scrapbooking materials
- Vintage Paris Notebook (From Stationary Island)
- Vintage Paris cellphone-chain (From Stationary Island)
- Sheep Keychain (From Stationary Island)
- 'Raining' Nude-Sticker (From Stationary Island)
- K plush cellphone-chain (From Cool Little Things)
Less than a week left! :)
xoxo, k.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008;
1:12 AM
The closer someone is to you, the harder it is to not disappoint him.
Sigh.
xoxo, k.
Monday, December 22, 2008;
11:55 PM
Pictures at T3 before Mag left for Melbourne! I was apparently very fascinated by the huge fan-flower-like thing. Realised that it was a airplane propeller in the design of a daisy, which is preeeeeetty cool. :D I remembered when I was young, I used to love drawing different scribbles of design and everything. Wouldn't it be uber cool to get my designs up in an international airport? I don't mind la. Haha
The little boy was so cute. Hahaha :D
Oh speaking of sending Mag off and everything, Gabby and I saw Joel and his mom at T3 too! He was heading off to Korea with his mom and gave me that funny look when I saw him -__-
I hope my fringe grows fasterrrrrr before I go back to school for the O level results! Roar :)
The song Inside Outside by Delirious? just reminded me of something God said to be a long time ago... that'll He's the one that captivates me and saturates me every single day. The very fact that I am able to be strong and healthy, even to outreach to my friends is because of His power. I was so caught up worrying about my O lvls results next month... But the line Your banner is over me just took me back into how He will always be cheering for me even till the very end. Then and then, I felt I needed to hold someone so that my fears will all go away (my hands were literally shaking) and then my dad and mom repeated the whole of Pslams 23 to me without even asking what happened to me. It was so powerful, so accurate that they were able to speak the Word that would calm my heart. I feel really grateful for such a family as mine... truely from the bottom of my heart.
Inside outside, under my skin
never ending love I don't know where it begins
I don't know where it ends, I don't know how high
I don't know how deep, I don't know how wide
Outside inside around the world
Never ending love envelops me like a cloud
I feel you in front, I feel you behind
I feel you up above, and I feel you at the side
And you, you’re all over me, you’re all over me
Your banner is over me, I give it all cos
You still captivate me, fascinate me
You still captivate me, saturate me
Inside outside, pulling me in
No matter where I run I know you’ll never give in
I see you in the storm, I see you in a kiss
I’ve been around the world and never found a love like this
----
No matter what happens... It is always our choice at the end of the day.
And I choose to move on.
xoxo, k.
;
12:45 PM
It's MY blog, so I can jolly well post anything *I* want!
Deal with that.
xoxo, k.
Sunday, December 21, 2008;
11:59 PM
David Cook - Fall back Into MeWe've been here before
We'll be here again so go on and rest your head
Before you lose it again
We're leaning on each other
Or at least I can pretend
That we didn't lose it all again
It could have been different
It could have all been the same
But now I'm standing at your front door, singing,
When everything's the same
And nothing ever changes
Will you fall back into me, oh
You see, everything's estranged
A million empty faces
So will you fall back into me?
Congratulations
You left me a little jaded and rejected
And so I lost it again
You chew me up, you throw away
As I continue to pretend
That we didn't lose it all again
I guess it's never different
I guess it's all the same
So now I'm bloodied by my fist, clenched, swinging
When everything's the same
And nothing ever changes
Will you fall back into me, oh
You see, everything's estranged
A million empty faces
So will you fall back into me?
I was a name across your lips
It's time to spit me out
I play the game; when my heart rips
It's time to hear me out
(Never do without)
When everything's the same
And nothing ever changes
Will you fall back into me
See, everything's estranged
A million empty faces
So will you fall back into me?
We're leaning on each other
Or at least I can pretend
That we didn't lose it all again, all again
Lose it all again
----
Speaks of current mood now. It's actually 130am monday morning, but I shall post it up under 21st Dec as I got home pretty late after sending Mag off to the airport with Gabby :)
Had talked pretty much with Rachel as well as other people today about different stuffs that got me thinking. I realized that I never really talked about the human feelings inside of me, like liking some other guy or smth, to others. (And I mean really liking someone and not admiring a certain someone. There's a difference) I guess I had locked up those emotions, threw them inside a box and flung the key away. The confusion of thoughts in my head and the endless What Ifs... I've been thinking much much more than I would have usually would.
I guess it really doesn't matter at the end of the day, 'cos it would probably be my own choice on whom the special someone would be. I don't want to go through the whole process of getting together with multiple guys and breaking up. (seen my sister went thru that, so nada for me) Aiya I don't know, I'll probably be so dense and clueless that I won't even know if some fish in the pond is attracted la, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!
Why am I even bothering to blog about this where millions of people would see... -_-
Okay so update about Changi airport T3 with Mag and Gabby shall wait until that ding sends me the pictures (:
Prayer conf 9am in the morning! Gotta sleep :) See you all tmr
xoxo, k.
Saturday, December 20, 2008;
2:08 AM
I kind of wanted to blog with the intention of thanking a particular person for an early christmas present but as I went to retrieve my phone (which I placed in the kitchen so that the battery could charge there), I saw a really depressing text message from a friend.
It was my fault that I forgotten to call after talking to Mag, and I understand that. I'm not going to complain or create an excuse for my mistake. Still, it really hurts to read something like that. I will apologise when I feel the need to, but I won't use the word "Sorry" excessively ever again.
I'm kinda sick of that word actually.
Maybe I was naive,And never really had a chance.----
OKAY ON A LIGHTER NOTE... there is smth that made me actually quite happy :) I always wanted Wuthering Heights and Sense and Sensibility by Emily Bronte and Jane Austen respectively, so I am really grateful for my early christmas present from Gabriel Ding!
He even bought me Yakuza Moon! :) I had been longing for that for a reeeeeeaaallly long time. Hahahaha :D Thanks Gabby for the really brillant present, you're really a niceeeeee friend! :)
You know I actually asked for BOOKS for christmas presents. :/ I think I'm really weird. I mean like, who asks for books for Christmas?! But... I think all that matters is that the other party feels appreciated when they receive the gifts :) iLove! Haha
And it's one month to 20th January! Can't waitttttttt :D
It's 2am! I shall be off for bed and read the books tmr morning! I should really be sleeping earlier mans. Hahaha okay see you around :)
xoxo, k.
Friday, December 19, 2008;
12:35 PM
It is a truth universally acknowledged,
that a single man in possession of a good fortune,
must be in want of a wife.
I actually feel much better after reading Pride and Prejudice :)
I think I'll never get sick of Jane Austen's classics. Literature is LOVE. And I wonder how many times I've posted about Pride and Prejudice in this blog. Hahaha I'm going to read Sense and Sensibility as well as Wuthering Heights as soon as I can my hands on those books I saw at Kino! Yeessssssssah :D Or someone could always just give those books to me for christmas! (HINT) But I love books and literature and english and everything... So it would be a very nice christmas present :)
I think I'll have a very nice time talking to my uncle about Pride and Prejudice this christmas eve!
Pride or Love?
xoxo, k.
Thursday, December 18, 2008;
10:58 PM
I don't know what I should have done.
I honestly don't know.
All I know is... It really hurt to be ignored like that.
Yell at me, shout at me, scream, hit, slap me, tell me what I did wrong. To me, that is probably a thousand times better than to be thrown aside and ignored. It's like a doll that the child has lost interest in. If the doll had feelings, it would probably feel an incredible sense of sadness. Sadness that makes it weep and ask itself, "What did I did wrong?"
It hurts. It hurts so much to be tossed aside. That incredible sense of sadness that overwelms.
Perhaps it would be better if the doll didn't have too many friends that are close to her. Closeness in friends... It seemed like it has only made the hurt much deeper and painful.
But as the Word of God says,
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.- Romans 8:38-39There will always be a love that will never fail. And as one door closes, another one will always open. A hurt will heal, and the doll will learn that to praise God even in the darkest times! For He shall always lead you back to the right path once again. PTL :)
Hear my cry
I sing for You alone...
xoxo, k.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008;
11:59 AM
I got slapped in the face for standing up for my sister.
I had to endure the words of how irresponsible I was.
Sometimes I really feel like a Nicole, but without the Chris with me.
Going through so much pressure and meeting the needs of those who has expectations on you, worrying on some things that were not meant to be worried, cautious of what the other party is feeling, being sensitive to avoid the look of disappointment, and going thru times where you'll just be ignored intentionally.
But God reminded me of a verse in the bible that says We're all earthen vessels that are breakable, but when pressures of the world come upon us, we won't crumble because God is the pressure inside of us pushing the world back.
We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed - always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.- 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 (NKJV)Without knowing it, I started crying really badly and I realised - I could never trade anything in the world for the bestest friend I have, Jesus Christ.
xoxo, k.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008;
3:03 AM
Okay so guess what I was doing 1am in the morning! (It's actually 2plus now)
Laughing at Gabriel Ding Fang Hao! :) It's actually quite funny if you enlarge the pictures and read the conversations. From cats to last sunday's sermons to advertisments for Pringles potato chips to 'How handsome Gabby is' HAHAHA! It was 1am or so and I was literally laughing like really loud. Okay so THANKS GABBY for being a really funny friend :D
And that white thing is his toilet paper. HAHAHA on it says "This is a rectangle and circle at the same time." Not bad eh, he was listening during Pst Tan's sermon last sunday!
Oh in case you're wondering about the rectangle-circle thing, it's a pretty simple but mind boggling fact :) you know when objects, eg a straw, is in a 3D form, you can only see if its a rectangle or circle but not both at the same time. God sees things in an additional 1D more than the 3D form, and thus he sees both the rectangle and circle as well as the beginning of the straw and the end of it! That's why he knows the bigger picture in our lives, cos basically, he sees EVERYTHING. :D so don't let your present circumstances take control of you, you take control of your circumstances and change it!
(: okay digressing just a lil bit, but everyone just wants to see Gabby's face right! Hahaha
Gabriel's killer smile! Bet many girls are swooning right now :) HAHAHAHA
'nuff said on this as well. (killer smile kills) :D
Gabby just looks really retarded in this one :D I thought he should at least have a few unglam ones posted here. Hee :)
This is really free advertisement for Pringles. You know its bad to eat potato chips at night 'cos it makes you fat!
Guess what's that shiny piece of metal he's holding. ROAR
I-P-H-O-N-E :)
Killer smile AGAIN. HAHAHA
and oh oh oh the last one for tonight:
That christmas sock is pretty cute, no? :)
Okay so Gabriel promised to show me his morning look tmr (or rather, later in the day since its 3am now) but I'll probably wake up really late! So... we'll see about that. And I feel really bad 'cos I was talking to Nicholas at the same time and half of the time I was busy taking the msn pictures and not talking much to him :X But! I hope he has a good time getting his new clothes for the cruise dinner!
Cruise dinner can :( I've never even been on a CRUISE.
Okay it's late and I really wanted to update on what happened the past few days but I'm really sleepy now :D So that'll be another day! See you guys around :)
[Edited at 11:41pm]
Okay, apparently Gabriel tried to be funny again today :)
But I think that the stuffed tigers are really cute :)
[Edited at 11:41pm]
xoxo, k.
Thursday, December 11, 2008;
10:41 AM
Guess who owned in Monopoly last tuesday! HAHAHA
Went over to Gabby's house last tuesday with Jeyun to play Monopoly and Cluedo. We played for like... 4 hours? Gabby and Yun didn't want to play after they landed on my property and didn't have enough money to pay me :D pfffft so unfair okay, I didn't even manage to bankrupt them fully! Absolute ownage in Speed, but Gabby beat me hands down yesterday. I WANT A RE-MATCH!
Okay been out pretty much everyday this week... a huge improvement from last week :) But I'm really tired after yesterday's trip from Gabriel's house, so I shall take it slow today.
Update of what happened this week: Went out with the cell group last monday! Supposed to head down to East Coast, but the weather was terrible. Stopped by the Esplanade to have lunch on the rooftop :) Many thanks to Jasmine, Jose, Kit and Jeyun for preparing the nice pasta! Hee and Kel bought us $25 cookies (dang ex can) which was niceeeeeeeee and Yun ate all the dark chocolate chips la! ROARAHAHA so for that, i took an extremely unglam picture of SIEOW JE YUN!
It was still raining when we left Esplanade, so we went over to Minds Cafe for an hour to play! Played high speed Monopoly in the last 15 minutes we had :D Eh, now I realised I've been playing Monopoly for 3 days straight la. OMG. Hahahaha so retarded. Okay anyway, the rain kinda stopped for a little while so we took the bus down to East Coast from Plaza Sing :D Reached East Coast and cycled for 2 hours under the rain drizzle. It was damn cold and windy. BUT WOO. NICE CAN. Haha celebrated Joel's birthday while we were there and we got him a cake that smells like coffee. okay it smells like coffee to me can :) Headed for home after that and my dad didn't kill me for coming back late so thank God. hahaha
Monopoly @ Gabby's again yesterday afternoon with Mag and then we practiced the HSM3 song for our performance! Went home to practiced the bridge part and I can hit the note okay! Dang happy. Haha but singing infront of others... sure can la, I'm confident okay :D I actually slept early yesterday 'cos I was so exhausted. Didn't stay up till 2am this time round, and I still woke up at 930 this morning. I think my whole biological clock is screwed. Don't bother me before 930 every morning though, I'll get cranky :)
I actually finished 2/8 of my To-do List today! Dad didn't give me my pay yesterday night so buying lots of stuff will be on hold till 3pm today :D I still haven't bought my angel/mortal gift either! There's really too many stuff to be done today... and I'm feeling hungry now too.
I want my T77! $300 only, I seriously don't believe I can't save up for it :)
Okay I'm off to google for more potential songs for a special Thanksgiving tmr night as well as to get smth to eat! See you around!
xoxo, k.
Sunday, December 07, 2008;
10:42 PM
Okay so people has been asking why I'm not updating my blog even though it's the holidays. It has only been 4 days omg, chill la!
Been busy ever since last thursday when I started watching the anime series Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn. I completed 80 episodes in 4 days~ whoo. And it's pretty nice too, so thanks to Yi Long who told me to watch this since I liked Bleach so much. Okay well he told me to watch it like a long time ago (like before my Os) but I had to concentrate on the big O and forget about all my anime! ): I figured that since I watched stuff like Bleach, D.GrayMan, Naruto Shippuuden, Vampire Knight, and read the manga, I should probably watch KHR while waiting for new episodes (of other animes) to be released weekly.
Anyway, KHR is pretty good and everyone should watch it 'cos Japanese Art rocks. :) and of course, I prefer Hibari-san! But Tsuna ain't that bad either. Hahaha if only he can get in Hyper Dying Will mode all without using the blue pills. But he'll probably can in the later episodes but I'm only at Ep 80! ROAR
I think the only reason why I'm blogging right now is so that my videos can load. Haha :D And tonight is gonna be a rainy night! Cool nights are the best :)
Okay my KHR videos has loaded so I'm off!
xoxo, k.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008;
5:11 PM
Okay so I figured that I should update a little about my life instead of posting about whatever I'm unhappy with (and wants to change etc etc blah). I mean after all, nobody likes a grumpy and emo person that tries so hard to change everything in their life and screw up their personalities in the process. Yeeee-ah.
So after work @ Dad's Office last friday night I went down to The Cathay to meet up with a few of the Crossroads Wedding Drama people. They had dinner at Billy Bombers, and then we walked over to Dom & Isaac's shop at bugis to chill. The above picture is how weird we were while we walked past the Singapore Arts Museum! No la, that blue thing is actually a balloon flower :D so find me in the picture, bet you can (: HAHAS. Finally met Liz and Caleb at 11pm (take five, minus five) after Liz's singing competition! Haven't seen Liz and Caleb for ages! okay, so a hug here and there and then its time to head home. Caleb commented that his hair is finally longer than mine :D LOL. I vaguely remembered that he said his hair would be longer than mine in 2 years time (that was around Easter Productions 07) but... I had lots of things on my mind last friday, so didn't really think much.
Oh oh oh. The baby was damn cute :) Dom's and Isaac's I meant. HAHA
Speaking of hair and all, I realised that impulse is REALLY a bad thing. You know how I snipped off my lovely slanted finge off after the Chemistry O level exam yeah, it took me a month to leave it to grow back to its original length. So the (ASSKLDJKDA!!!) me decided to try to cut my fringe back to its slanted shape yesterday night. I don't have the skills to cut hair (obviously) so my fringe ended up being shorter than what I cut in October :X YEAH. I have Christmas Dinner coming soon in December! ): HOW TO GO NOW! and then there's Christmas svc @ Expo! See, this is a classic case of not learning from mistakes. I will never do anything on impulse ever again!
Okay so what else happened in during my week? I can't remember seriously.
Oh I went over to East Coast yesterday to cycle (2 hours straight no joke) and my ass hurts pretty bad. I hoped that I wouldn't see any of my school mates over there, what are the chances right? I mean there are so many places that people could go. AND THEN, just as I was thinking that, I saw a couple of 5N/4Ns and a 3E from my school. -_- and the 3E recognised me! I was absolutely mortified. See, thats what you get when you're in Student Council in school and know lots of people. Gah ): I was avoiding everyone yesterday (and it was raining pretty hard) so I rushed off after saying hi. So anyway, being there alone was fun and I think I'm going back there before getting my results in January! After biking I took the MRT down to Changi and stared at planes for a few hours. Met some lady who was there after sending her friend off, and then she started telling me about her sons (25 and 23), asking about my family and then went home for dinner. It was weird... but I don't know la. Comforting to have people around you?
Swimmingz @ Mag's this morning! It was a bad attempt at trying to lose weight. HAHAS. Wanted to eat Sakae Sushi at City Hall for lunch and catch a movie at The Cathay but that Mag didn't let me go home to change 'cos she was hungry. >:( Haha! Ended up eating New York New York at Lot One (omg) and then buying those $1 ice creams at Mac. My meal costs $20! What the pink right. UGH. With 20 I can spend on so many other stuffs... like clothes :D Oh cck's library is really cool now, it has more tables and windows and I think it'll be a really nice place to study there! Was tired out after walking around so I decided to go home and take a nap. That's damn bad 'cos you get fat easily like that. I must go run more before that Christmas Dinner! :) Oh and Popular's having a sale or some sort, you can get the Classic stories (Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Wuthering Heights, etctetc) for like $5 per book! WOO. I'm gonna get them once I get my pay from my dad :D YEEEESSAH
Okay so thats what happened so far, I actually talked about my life! Amazing. Really, look down at my other posts, I don't think mentioned much about anything la. :D
So I'm going to throw away every single negative thought I have and just carry on with life like there's nothing wrong, continue living each day with a strong resolve to do smth fruitful and see what else life will throw my way :) Most of all, smile~ :) hee
Shall read Pride and Prejudice again! See you around (:
xoxo, k.
Monday, December 01, 2008;
10:09 PM
Reflection in my eyes are looking for purposeThey're still looking for life
One week of rest at home after Asia Conference, three days of work at my Dad's office, and now I'm still stuck at home. I feel so suffocated and locked up at home... I wanna go out somewhere (anywhere) ALONE. Sometimes I wish I could just fly up to the clouds and escape from every single person from the entire world. I feel so unfruitful at home, I'm so tired of talking to people and I'm sick of meeting people's demands.
Pst Tan said to hold on when you feel faithless, when you're down in the valley, hold on when you're tired of serving, hold on when you're alone. Holding On... until you get out of the valley. I shudder at the thought of my bones being dry, but what is my reason for holding on? Letting go, giving up. What am I to choose for the next step of my life?
I want to think... Maybe I just need some time alone.
xoxo, k.
- joined Chingay 2008 although I never thought I would survive through the tough trainings
