Monday, April 06, 2009;
12:14 PM
Because I know that even the one that is supposed to be the closest to me doesn't give a rat's ass about
family. I don't have to prove myself to them or be someone who I'm not. If I'm not in, then I'm not. I'm not some person that thrives on how they look on the outside. I'm not someone that cares about my weight... if I did I would have exercised myself to the point I'm actually thin. But that's just it. I don't care about my outside looks like how
she would.
If you don't know what I want in life then you're not someone I qualify to be close to me in the first plae. Even if you're
family. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, so go on and spew your vulgarities. Go on and spew your ugly words. It won't make you any better... But *I* know that looks aren't the ones that God is going to look at when we all get raptured up to the sky.
I don't care if I'm not accepted to DM, I don't care if I'm not performing in Easter, I don't care 'cause I've learnt to let go of it a long time ago. Your intentions might be good in the first place, but as of now, you turned it into a weapon. I don't want something like that so you can just take it back.
So what if someone said something about me that I'm not? I don't care. Sure, I get upset at first, but then whatever happened in the past IS in the past. I gave up caring about what
he said. I'm not here to please everyone. I don't care if you don't like me and say it behind my back. If you got a problem, say it straight to my face. Like Elizabeth. She'll tell me what she doesn't like about me straight to my face and that helps me to change and grow. Just being a TAKER
like some people and saying whatever they want to make themselves feel more superior and be a WINNER isn't something I care about.
I gave up being in DM a long time ago. It doesn't affect me anymore in the long run.
If you think you can use that against me, think about it again
devil. It's that thing in you that I hate, not you yourself. So realize it and get it out.
I know what *I* want now. I know what I have to do now. Anyone that doesn't know can just get out of my sight before they start critisizing who I am and who I want to be.
xoxo, k.
